The Great

Tony McNamara

• Éditeur: Currency Press
• Année: 2020
• ISBN:
  9781760626785
• Sujet: Literature
• Sous-sujet: Drama

The Great is Tony McNamara's distinctive comic take on the rise and reign of Catherine the Great of Russia.The action spans the course of Catherine's adult life as she learns the ways of the world and takes on the challenge of political power with all of its attendant responsibilities, excesses and sorrows. It is at once a coming of age story, a family drama and a wild satire on power.With an attention to veracity that would make Monty Python squeal, history is well and truly damned. Leave the facts with your car keys and your towel on the Sands of Time, come, frolic in the Sea of Great Unlikelihood...

ACT ONE

SCENE ONE

France. 1700s.

The young CATHERINE THE GREAT. A lovely park setting. She sits with her friend ANGELINE.

ANGELINE: I overheard my father talking last night, he said your father is a fool, that you have practically no money, that you will soon lose everything.

CATHERINE: I don’t think that’s true. We had strawberries last night.

ANGELINE: So?

CATHERINE: They’re an expensive fruit, and I always equate them with optimism and happiness.

ANGELINE: You are a very naive girl. It is embarrassing to me.

CATHERINE: I just see the good in things. You should try it. There is so much good, Angeline. This morning I found a bird in my pocket. A little chirping wren, I hadn’t even noticed it climb in there, just heard it chirping happily.

ANGELINE: Oh, my God. You are a child.

CATHERINE: Also not true. I am to be married.

ANGELINE: No!

CATHERINE: Yes!

ANGELINE: No!

CATHERINE: Yes!

ANGELINE: No!

CATHERINE: Oh, I love this! Yes!

ANGELINE: No!

CATHERINE: Yes!

ANGELINE: No!

CATHERINE: Okay, I’m done, accept it so we can move on.

ANGELINE: Who? Does this crazy man know your family’s situation?

CATHERINE: That we have strawberries most nights? I shall be sure to tell him. I trust he will share my love of this optimistic fruit.

ANGELINE: I mean that you have nothing.

CATHERINE: He cares not for such things. Emperor Peter and I are about finer things.

ANGELINE: Emperor Peter of Russia?!

CATHERINE: Yip.

ANGELINE: The whole of Russia!

CATHERINE: It is a big place. We have a map, we gathered round it while we ate strawberries. There was also cream, yellow and thick. I’m to be an Empress, isn’t that so… completely right.

ANGELINE: No!

CATHERINE: Yes!

ANGELINE: No!

CATHERINE: Angeline, I cannot do this again, it is too tiring, and I have a long trip ahead of me, to Russia. Where I am to be Empress.

ANGELINE: How did this happen?

CATHERINE: He was sent my portrait and chose me. Apparently he was struck dumb with love.

ANGELINE: That’s clear. Your portrait. Who painted it, Michelangelo?! He will be disappointed when you arrive.

CATHERINE: He will love me and I him. He has sent me a beautiful letter. Why must you be cruel, Angeline? You are a plain girl and it would suit you better to have a sunny disposition.

ANGELINE: You, Empress of Russia. I feel faint.

CATHERINE: They have bears. I may get one. They look cute.

ANGELINE: Cute… You cannot, you are too naive for this. Remember the first time your blood came through?

CATHERINE: I…

ANGELINE: ‘Help, someone! I think I’ve been shot!’

CATHERINE: I was bleeding quite inexplicably, it seemed a logical explanation.

ANGELINE: How did he even know you existed?

CATHERINE: He is my mother’s second cousin.

ANGELINE: You are practically brother and sister. Your children will look like hamsters!

CATHERINE: Then they will remind me of you and I shall look fondly upon them. We will not meet again, dear Angeline. But I shall carry the look on your face with me always. You have been often cruel to me but I have felt your unhappiness and so, I forgive you.

ANGELINE: I don’t want you to—

CATHERINE: Too late. I already did it. I greet the world with love and it greets me the same, you spit in its eye and wonder ...