The Manipulation Bible

The Dark Side of Communication

Wladislaw Jachtchenko, George Robarts

• Éditeur: Remote Verlag
• Année: 2022
• ISBN:
  9781955655293
• Sujet: Languages & Linguistics
• Sous-sujet: Rhetoric

A masterclass in manipulation from the bestselling communication coachNice is for suckers.Want to win in today's world?Put yourself first and start getting your own way.Want to seem confident but haven't got a clue?Want to prove yourself right using whatever facts you like?This essential book will teach you how to run rings round your acquaintances, family members, and colleagues. It's crafty, provocative, and best of all, guaranteed to work.Here's what you need to know: Rule 1: Know who you're up against.Rule 2: Know all the dirtiest tricks.Rule 3: Manipulate others before they manipulate you!International phenomenon Wladislaw Jachtchenko is here to show you how. This international best-selling communication coach opens up his box of tricks to show you how to use bogus arguments, devious body language techniques and twisted truths to get the last word in every single conversation.

THE THREE BOXES OF DIRTY COMMUNICATION TRICKS

I. First Box of Tricks: Cognitive Biases

Brain: an apparatus with which
we think that we think.

Ambrose Bierce

The term “cognitive” (from Latin cognoscere, meaning “learn, perceive, get to know”) encompasses everything to do with our minds. Cognitive “biases” are systemic deviations from accurate perception, memory and thought – a type of human reprocessing of information and understanding. Simply put, they are glitches in our brain software. And they can be “hacked into” like weak spots in a computer system.

Our brains are our pride and joy. They are the very reason why our species modestly calls itself “homo sapiens” (“wise, intelligent, prudent person”). Our brainpower is unparalleled. But is it faultless? Not even close!

Even if you’ve never heard of cognitive biases, you will have encountered common misperceptions and misconceptions in everyday life. A typical, straightforward example is that after drinking alcohol, we think we are funnier and more attractive than we do when we’re sober. Misperceptions are exactly what magicians take advantage of when they pull off a trick by momentarily diverting their audience’s attention elsewhere.

But there are countless other more subtle cognitive biases that pass us by in everyday life, without us even acknowledging their existence. And crafty types can use them to get into other people’s heads and manipulate them in a certain direction.

The reason why manipulating the brain is so effective is because most people don’t have the first idea about cognitive biases. And even the few who have heard of them think that other people can be influenced by them, but their own thoughts and perceptions are free of such faults. As a result, you can use cognitive biases to manipulate anyone. You just need to find the technique that your victim is most vulnerable to – and they will behave exactly as you wish. So let’s get started, and learn how to push the right buttons!

1. Superiority Bias

All pleasure and mirth consist in this:
that we surround ourselves with people
in comparison with whom
we can think highly of ourselves.

Thomas Hobbes

The above-average effect, also known as “superiority bias” or the “Dunning-Kruger effect”,²⁹ states that many people consider themselves to be better than the majority. And this assumption is more common than you might think.

Sociological surveys have found that most respondents consider themselves to be better than average drivers. Most men describe themselves as better than average in bed. Most lawyers consider their own successes particularly remarkable. Most stockbrokers see themselves as uncommonly successful. Most teachers think they are exceptional – the list goes on.

At first, I was skeptical of this. Most people seem pretty modest – and usually pretty average. So, in my workshops, I started asking participants to perform an honest self-appraisal. I told them to rate themselves on a scale of 1 to 10 for empathy. 5 was average; 1 meant they were incapable of empathy; 10 meant they were the most compassionate person in the world.

Nobody gave themselves 10. I expected that. But nobody gave themselves a score under 6. The average was 8! I could hardly believe it. Nothing but highly empathetic people wherever I looked. I repeated the experiment in nine more workshops. The result was more or less the same each time.

This made me curious. I began conducting similar surveys in each of my courses. As it turns out, my clients are – by their own description – all above average in communication, persuasiveness, quick-wittedness, negotiating, arguing, and so on.

But before I point the finger too much at other people, it’s only fair to tell you about my own superiority bias, which reared its head in 2008, when I ran my first (and last) marathon. I had played badminton my whole life, won many tournaments, trained regularly – and felt in very good shape. When my girlfriend at the time suggested running a marathon together, I agreed without a moment’s thought. I started training four weeks in advance – because my goal was just to get over the finish line. I didn’t care about my time. And I had no doubt I’d make it – because I was so sporty. Or so I thought.

Of course, it didn’t go as I expected. At 30 kilometers, I had to sit down for 15 minutes. By 37 kilometers I’d slowed to a snail’s pace. Over five hours after setting off, I slumped over the line, utterly exhausted – having been overtaken by 23,597 other runners. It hurt. And not just physically.

The truth is that most people are mired in incompetence. Most of us can do one or two things better than average, because we have studied and trained in them for a long time. And we identify ourselves with those things, disregarding what we can’t do. As in my case.

The above-average effect is at its most potent when it comes to intelligence. Most people think they are smarter than average. And this isn’t a recent phenomenon. Great philosophers through the ages have noted people’s tendency to overestimate their own intellect. René Descartes witheringly remarked, “Common sense is the most widely shared commodity in the world, for every man is convinced that he is well supplied with it.”³⁰ La Rouchefoucauld put it slightly differently: “Everyone complains of his memory; no-one complains of his judgment.”³¹

I see it time and time again: it makes no difference what formal qualifications people have, or how old they are – they are always extremely generous in appraisals of their own intelligence.

Self-Serving Bias

Another cognitive bias related to the above-average effect is self-serving bias. This states that people tend to give themselves credit for their successes – while attributing their failures to external circumstances. A classic example from my old job: if a lawyer wins a case, it’s because of their skill and strategic nous in court. If the same lawyer is defeated, it was all because of the judge, or the solicitors who didn’t pull their weight, or the witnesses whose testimony wasn’t good enough. But they themselves didn’t put a foot wrong!

This cognitive bias is very common. And I haven’t always been immune to it: if I was awarded Top Speaker at a debating tournament, it was naturally thanks to my stellar rhetorical skills. And if I lost in the final, it was because the jury misunderstood me. Only with time did I learn not to go after the judges.

Managerial staff do a similar thing: if their company is doing well, it’s all thanks to their excellent strategic decisions – and if they are in the red, it’s the fault of their unmotivated employees who haven’t implemented their decisions properly. Job applicants suffer from the same effect: if they get the job, it’s their brilliant CV that did it; if they don’t, it’s because of the “dumb questions” they were asked at interview.

If you’re honest with yourself, I reckon you’ll find plenty of examples from your own life when you have fallen victim to self-serving bias.

But why do we let our brains manipulate us like this? Do the above-average effect and self-serving bias make any sense in evolutionary terms?

Arguably, these mechanisms are useful because they prevent us doubting ourselves after a setback – which would inhibit our development. Instead, they allow us to maintain our feeling of self-worth – turning us into happier, more motivated people who can keep looking forward. Happier people generally have healthier minds and a longer life expectancy.

How Can You Use the Above-Average Effect to Manipulate People?

Naturally, we can use these insights to manipulate people into doing our bidding. The above-average effect gives rise to two key phenomena:

1.Increased susceptibility to compliments. If people believe they are better than average – that they really are something special – then they will become more susceptible to compliments. Every flattering comment serves as further confirmation of their exceptionality, elevating them to an even higher plane. Imagine that you have a colleague who thinks they’re especially good with words. A good manipulator will marvel at their supposed eloquence, so that they can dump their presentation at the next meeting on their loquacious colleague, telling them, “There’s no way I can present it as well as you could – please do it instead of me!”

2.Conversely, if someone doesn’t believe their own hype, they will find your compliments a little disconcerting. People with a more realistic self-image will instantly realize when someone’s trying to suck up to them. The compliment will still be gratefully received – as we now know – but will be put into perspective by a smaller ego. The good news for manipulators is that there are very few “ordinary” people out there. Most people are convinced that they are something special.

3.Increased susceptibility to mistakes. Feelings of superiority lead people to underestimate their situation, become overconfident, and make mistakes. It’s the same as in sports: if the favorite underestimates their opponent and doesn’t give their all, they are more likely to get beaten. So let them feel superior. It works the same way in everyday life – in the office, for instance. If someone reckons they’ve performed better than their colleagues all year and assumes they’ll get a raise, but hasn’t kept meticulous records of their achievements to present to the boss at their annual review, they’ll soon find their ambitions thwarted by the management, who can’t recall any particularly outstanding achievements…

The Nobel Prize winning physicist Richard Feynman once said, “You must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool.”³² Manipulation does not always come from the outside. We often lie to ourselves, usually to make ourselves feel better. This is harmless and sensible to an extent – for instance, to prevent ourselves being paralyzed by past mistakes that we can’t change...