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The Martian
HOW WILL WE GET TO THE RED PLANET?
IS A MARTIAN HOLIDAY GOOD FOR YOUR HEALTH?
CAN WE REALLY MAKE A LIFE ON MARS?
I love The Martian. Itâs Man vs Wilderness, botanist Mark Watney vs his cosmic fate, Matt Damon vs Ridley Scott leaving him stranded and helpless. Itâs crammed with science about how humans might live on the surface, what the dusty red soil is made of, what we might be able to growâŠ
Not sure youâd need an actual botanist for that. Growing plants is hardly rocket science, is it?
Oh really? You think a quantum physicist would be better?
Well, plants are quantum mechanical at heart, with the photosynthesis mechanism transferring energy through the leaf in a superposition stateâŠ
Your weird fetish for quantum is embarrassing. The only reason Iâd be taking a quantum physicist to Mars is to help the crew sleep through the journey. And as a source of protein.
Home alone
Ridley Scottâs film is based on an excellent and crazily well-researched book (youâre right, exactly like this one) by Andrew Weir. While astronauts are pottering around on the Martian surface in 2035, a storm hits. Poor old Matt gets whacked by a broken antenna that pierces his spacesuit and damages the instruments that broadcast his biostats. His friends think heâs a goner, so they leave him for dead, blasting off from Mars towards Earth before the storm blows their spaceship over. But this is a Matt Damon movie. So â surprise! â Matt regains consciousness, finds himself alone and with very limited food, and quickly realizes that heâs going to have to âscience the shitâ out of this situationâŠ
Itâs a big ask. When youâre watching the film, you get the sense that Mars has no mercy. Its dust storms are apocalyptic. Nothing will grow there. Thereâs precious little water and barely any atmosphere, itâs generally nippy by day and needle-sharp cold by night, getting down to minus 125 Celsius in places. Even its reputation is aggro: the colour of the planet Mars, fourth rock from the Sun, reminded the Romans of blood, so they named it after their god of war.
And yet we are ludicrously keen on Mars. The Red Planet has always been an object of fascination to humans, and in the space age never more so. After all, itâs not so far away that we canât get there, and although it looks like an alien world now, it was once a bit like Earth. It had an atmosphere, it had water and thereâs at least some soil you can plant your feet on. If we were to get to Jupiter, weâd find nothing but gas. Jupiter is not a great place to establish a colony. Mars isnât, either, to be honest â it ainât no Center Parcs â but itâs a good start.
So the first question that arises is obvious. The Martian depends on us being able to get people to Mars. How are we going to do that?
Fantastic voyage
Iâve just been looking at the Wikipedia entry for Mars One, the colony project. Itâs hilarious. âThe projectâs schedule, technical and financial feasibility, and ethics, have been criticized by scientists, engineers and those in the aerospace industry.â
And now itâs getting mugged off in our book. Have many people applied?
Amazingly, yes â they had more than 4,000 people pay to apply for places on their Martian holiday camp.
And are they ever going to get their moneyâs worth?
[Redacted for legal reasons.]
First, youâve got to score a seat. Elon Musk, the deep-pocketed founder of SpaceX, says youâll need to pay around $200,000 for a ticket on his flights to Mars â when heâs finally ready to issue them. Youâll also need to have a âsense of adventureâ and be âprepared to dieâ. Well, at least heâs honest.
NASA is not currently accepting applications for their programme that will eventually put people on Mars, but it was quite recently. In case they didnât get what they were looking for and reopen the opportunity, hereâs some of what you need to know.
In the recruitment round that closed in February 2016, the annual salary range was $66,026.00 to $144,566.00. In any event, youâll need a science degree, plus three or more years of professional experience or 1,000 hours pilot-in-command time in jet aircraft. An advanced degree is desirable and you have to be a US citizen. And, would you believe, âFrequent travel may be required.â
Mars One is the third option. This is also closed to applications just now. But, they say, check back often. Their astronauts must be âintelligent, creative, psychologically stable and physically healthyâ. And without emotional ties. Or financial commitments on Earth, presumably: thereâs no pay, as such. Also, the ultimate selection will be by public vote in a TV series, so youâd better have a lot of friends. Or, since itâs a one-way ticket, enemies might be more helpful.
The curse of Mars
In The Martian, Matt Damon is left for dead because his fellow crew-members are worried that a dust storm will blow their spacecraft over, stranding them all on the Red Planet. Many people have scoffed at this, because the Martian atmosphere is only 1 per cent as dense as Earthâs, and would therefore struggle to blow anything over. However, it has happened before â or at least thatâs what we think.
The Russian Mars 3 lander touched down on the planetâs surface in 1971. It sent a signal home, but the signal was cut off after just twenty seconds. Experts think its mission ended abruptly when a massive dust storm caused the lander to topple over.
Whatever the cause, itâs only one of twenty-seven Martian mission failures so far. The problems can usually be pinned on human error, incompetence or inexperience. It started with NASAâs 1964 Mariner 3 mission, whose solar panels failed to deploy. Unable to charge its batteries, the craft quickly died. The following year, a solar-panel problem caused the Russian Zond 2 to drift off, lifeless, into space. There was the European Space Agencyâs Beagle 2 mission, led by the heavily sideburned Colin Pillinger, which landed intact but never called home. There was also the time engineers on the Mars Climate Orbiter mixed up SI and imperial units. Oops.
Weâre getting a lot better at Mars missions now, though. Most of the failures were last century, and we have run plenty of successful orbiter and lander programmes in the last decade or so. That said, the European Space Agency lost its Schiaparelli lander in October 2016. The curse still has some power, it seems.
Assuming youâve got a place, you need to realize itâs a long way t...