ACT I
Scene 1
A farmhouse in Bucks County, PA. Not enormous, but comfortable, on a hill, many trees, a barn nearby, a pond in the near distance. There used to be a shed for peacocks, but the peacocks are long gone.
The Morning Room. Sunny, a sitting place with a nice window and comfortable wicker chairs.
VANYA, 55 to 60, in a nightshirt, walks in, carrying coffee. He sits, staring out the window. Sips the coffee, which tastes good. He feels somewhat contented. He stares a bit more. SONIA enters, age 50 or so, with coffee for him. Perhaps has a diet soda for herself. She is unsure of herself, melancholy, though keeps hoping for impossible things.
SONIA I brought you coffee, dearest Vanya.
VANYA I have some.
SONIA Oh. But I bring you coffee every morning.
VANYA Well, yes, but you werenât available.
SONIA Well, I was briefly in the bathroom, you couldnât wait?
VANYA I donât know. The coffee was made, you werenât there, Iâm capable of pouring coffee into a cup.
SONIA But I like bringing you coffee in the morning.
VANYA Fine. Here, take this cup and give me that one.
SONIA All right.
She hands him the coffee sheâs brought; he hands her his partly finished cup.
SONIA Now I feel better.
VANYA Iâm glad.
Sonia sits. They both look out, staring into the distance.
SONIA Has the blue heron been at the pond yet this morning?
VANYA Not yet. Or it was here before I was.
SONIA Itâll probably come later. Itâs such a beautiful bird.
VANYA Yes, it is. (sips the coffee) Iâm afraid the other cup tasted better.
SONIA Well itâs the same coffee.
VANYA Well maybe I put in more milk than you did. Maybe thatâs why it tastes better.
SONIA Donât I usually put in the right amount of milk?
VANYA Well, yes. I donât usually think about it. Itâs just that I was drinking one coffee, and liking it, and then suddenly thereâs a different cup of coffee, and Iâm liking it slightly less. Itâs no big deal. Iâm just making pleasant conversation.
SONIA Thatâs not making pleasant conversation. Itâs first thing in the morning, and youâre implying I donât do anything right.
VANYA I didnât say that.
SONIA Yes, you did.
VANYA I didnât.
SONIA Well you implied it.
VANYA Forget it! The coffeeâs delicious, I love it!
SONIA Oh, for Godâs sake. Here, take the original cup back.
VANYA No, no, itâs not that different. Iâm sorry I said anything.
Sonia forces him to take his original coffee cup back, the one he preferred. She takes the second cup back herself.
SONIA I mean I have two pleasant moments every day in my fucking life, and one of them is bringing you coffee.
VANYA Sonia, Iâm sorry I said anything. Really, the two cups are almost identical. I should have said nothing.
SONIA All right.
VANYA Iâm sorry. Really.
SONIA Thatâs all right.
She suddenly takes the cup sheâs holding and smashes it on the floor, in the direction of the kitchen. Silence.
VANYA Is this how youâre going to be today?
SONIA I donât know what you mean.
VANYA YOU JUST THREW THE FUCKING COFFEE AGAINST THE WALL!
SONIA I DIDNâT!
VANYA You didnât??? What kind of idiot response is that?
SONIA I donât know. Itâs an angry âI hate my life and I hate youâ response.
VANYA Well, it was effective then, good for you!
SONIA Thank you!
Silence.
SONIA Iâm sorry. I shouldnât have thrown the cup.
VANYA Thatâs all right.
SONIA Itâs just I had bad dreams last night.
VANYA Oh?
SONIA I dreamt I was 52 and I wasnât married.
VANYA Were you dreaming in the documentary form?
SONIA Thatâs not funny.
VANYA Really, I thought it was. You are 52, and youâre not married.
SONIA Whose fault is that?
VANYA Is the answer supposed to be me?
SONIA There isnât any answer. And if I pine for you, thatâs my business.
VANYA Donât pine for me. Thatâs ridiculous. Iâm 57 and Iâve told you for many years, Iâm not interested in you in that way. I . . . march to a different drummer.
SONIA Why must you...