ACT I
Scene 1
A farmhouse in Bucks County, PA. Not enormous, but comfortable, on a hill, many trees, a barn nearby, a pond in the near distance. There used to be a shed for peacocks, but the peacocks are long gone.
The Morning Room. Sunny, a sitting place with a nice window and comfortable wicker chairs.
VANYA, 55 to 60, in a nightshirt, walks in, carrying coffee. He sits, staring out the window. Sips the coffee, which tastes good. He feels somewhat contented. He stares a bit more. SONIA enters, age 50 or so, with coffee for him. Perhaps has a diet soda for herself. She is unsure of herself, melancholy, though keeps hoping for impossible things.
SONIA I brought you coffee, dearest Vanya.
VANYA I have some.
SONIA Oh. But I bring you coffee every morning.
VANYA Well, yes, but you werenāt available.
SONIA Well, I was briefly in the bathroom, you couldnāt wait?
VANYA I donāt know. The coffee was made, you werenāt there, Iām capable of pouring coffee into a cup.
SONIA But I like bringing you coffee in the morning.
VANYA Fine. Here, take this cup and give me that one.
SONIA All right.
She hands him the coffee sheās brought; he hands her his partly finished cup.
SONIA Now I feel better.
VANYA Iām glad.
Sonia sits. They both look out, staring into the distance.
SONIA Has the blue heron been at the pond yet this morning?
VANYA Not yet. Or it was here before I was.
SONIA Itāll probably come later. Itās such a beautiful bird.
VANYA Yes, it is. (sips the coffee) Iām afraid the other cup tasted better.
SONIA Well itās the same coffee.
VANYA Well maybe I put in more milk than you did. Maybe thatās why it tastes better.
SONIA Donāt I usually put in the right amount of milk?
VANYA Well, yes. I donāt usually think about it. Itās just that I was drinking one coffee, and liking it, and then suddenly thereās a different cup of coffee, and Iām liking it slightly less. Itās no big deal. Iām just making pleasant conversation.
SONIA Thatās not making pleasant conversation. Itās first thing in the morning, and youāre implying I donāt do anything right.
VANYA I didnāt say that.
SONIA Yes, you did.
VANYA I didnāt.
SONIA Well you implied it.
VANYA Forget it! The coffeeās delicious, I love it!
SONIA Oh, for Godās sake. Here, take the original cup back.
VANYA No, no, itās not that different. Iām sorry I said anything.
Sonia forces him to take his original coffee cup back, the one he preferred. She takes the second cup back herself.
SONIA I mean I have two pleasant moments every day in my fucking life, and one of them is bringing you coffee.
VANYA Sonia, Iām sorry I said anything. Really, the two cups are almost identical. I should have said nothing.
SONIA All right.
VANYA Iām sorry. Really.
SONIA Thatās all right.
She suddenly takes the cup sheās holding and smashes it on the floor, in the direction of the kitchen. Silence.
VANYA Is this how youāre going to be today?
SONIA I donāt know what you mean.
VANYA YOU JUST THREW THE FUCKING COFFEE AGAINST THE WALL!
SONIA I DIDNāT!
VANYA You didnāt??? What kind of idiot response is that?
SONIA I donāt know. Itās an angry āI hate my life and I hate youā response.
VANYA Well, it was effective then, good for you!
SONIA Thank you!
Silence.
SONIA Iām sorry. I shouldnāt have thrown the cup.
VANYA Thatās all right.
SONIA Itās just I had bad dreams last night.
VANYA Oh?
SONIA I dreamt I was 52 and I wasnāt married.
VANYA Were you dreaming in the documentary form?
SONIA Thatās not funny.
VANYA Really, I thought it was. You are 52, and youāre not married.
SONIA Whose fault is that?
VANYA Is the answer supposed to be me?
SONIA There isnāt any answer. And if I pine for you, thatās my business.
VANYA Donāt pine for me. Thatās ridiculous. Iām 57 and Iāve told you for many years, Iām not interested in you in that way. I . . . march to a different drummer.
SONIA Why must you...