The Book of Beer Awesomeness

A Champion's Guide to Party Skills, Amazing Beer Activities, and More Than Forty Drinking Games

Ben Applebaum, Dan DiSorbo

• Publisher: Chronicle Books LLC
• Year: 2012
• Print ISBN: 9781452105017
• eBook ISBN: 9781452113197

Beauty is in the hand of the beer holder. From pouring to storing, from crushing cans to doing keg stands, from beer bongs to beer pong, this definitive guide to beer drinking is a brew-lover's bible. Written by the experts behind The Book of Beer Pong—and featuring feats of fortitude and games of strategy, skill, and memory, alongside other activities and challenges— The Book of Beer Awesomeness is full of kings-playing, cup-flipping, frosty-mugged fun. Tips and tidbits that cover the brewing and drinking of this most beloved of beverages around the world round out the ultimate guide for enjoying any beer—in any situation.

You need to know it to own it.

AND BY “IT” WE MEAN BEER, and by “own” we mean becoming a skilled practitioner of the art and science of drinking “it.” And that’s where we will begin

Understanding the history of beer, the fundamentals of brewing, and the basic taxonomy of the various forms is not just for random trivia nights or boring your buddies to death. No, we believe that this is the foundation on which to build your beer-drinking skills. Respect the knowledge of the past because we are all just drinking on the shoulders of giants. Please don’t spill.

FIRST THINGS THIRST, let’s define exactly what you will be devoting every waking minute—and several non-waking ones—to perfecting.

Beer is the world’s oldest and most popular alcoholic beverage, an incredible feat for such a complicated, temperamental, and polarizing liquid. It’s also testament to its otherworldly powers, surprisingly nutritional benefits, and significant economic influence.

All of this from a fermentation of partially germinated grains flavored with dried flowers. While it doesn’t sound impressive—or particularly masculine—it has had a significant role in our history.

BEER BANTER

“From man’s sweat and God’s love, beer came into the world.”

—Saint Arnold of Metz

Patron saint of brewers

DRINKER DICTIONARY

BEER SYNONYMS

Amber fluid

Barley juice

Bomber

Brain hammer

Brew

Brewdog

Brew-ha-ha

Brewski

Cerveza

Chugger’s delight

Codswallop

Cold one

Cold water sandwich

Coldie

Daddy’s milk

Frosty

Giggle water

Gold elixir

Grog

Gutter-ade

Hop juice

Hoppy happiness

Keg innards

Libation

Liquid bread

Liquid gold

Loudmouth soup

Malt beverage

Nectar of the gods

Oat soda

Old horizontal

Post-party cologne

Reeb

Silly seltzer

Social lubricant

Suds

Swill

Swipe

Time travel in a bottle

Tinnie

Tummy buster

Wallop

Wheat treat

Wobbly pops

SO, HOW DID BEER COME ABOUT? It’s a question that is as old as time itself. Fermentation happens naturally in fruit, courtesy of wild yeasts. Some animals have been known to partake of a little spiked fruit—and early humans were likely not far behind. This theory would explain the creation of wine and other fruity drinks. But beer is different.

Grains don’t share the same easily fermenting properties. They need some hot enzyme action to convert the plant’s starches into soluble sugars. And those enzymes come from two sources: saliva or partial germination. Either way, the path to the first brew was neither easy nor peasy.

But it happened. Somehow the grains—possibly through a storage snafu—were soaked and dried and soaked again. Then they came to float in some water and were left to rot. And it was good. Real good.

Some of the earliest records of beer consumption come from as far back as 4200 b.c.e., found on Babylonian clay tablets featuring detailed beer recipes. The Babylonians weren’t the only ones getting their drink on, however; other societies, such as the Assyrians, the Egyptians, and the Chinese have all been reported to be massive beer heads.

BREW FACT

The earliest brewers were women. High priestesses were divinely inspired to brew it by their culture’s goddesses: Ninkasi (Sumerian), Ceres (Roman), and Elvira (American).

THE WORLD’S LONGEST BEER RUN

9500 B.C.E.: Neolithic farmers cultivate cereals and possibly a buzz.

4200 B.C.E.: Babylonians carve beer recipes into clay tablets.

2300 B.C.E.: The Chinese brew their version of beer, kiu.

1600 B.C.E.: Egyptian texts contain medicinal uses for beer.

55 B.C.E.: The Romans introduce their form of beer to Northern Europe.

500 C.E.: Europe graduates from smaller home brewing to brewing beer on a large scale in monasteries.

1200: Beer making is firmly established as a commercial enterprise in Germany, Austria, and England.

1492: Columbus finds Indians making beer from corn and black birch sap.

1516: William IV, Duke of Bavaria, adopts the Reinheitsgebot (purity law), according to which the only allowed ingredients of beer are water, hops, and barley malt.

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Table of contents

• Cover Page
• Title Page
• Table of Contents
• Don’t Be An Idiot.
• Introduction
• Chapter 1: Brew School
• Chapter 2: Beeraphernalia
• Chapter 3: Beer Drinking Basics
• Chapter 4: Advanced Skills
• Chapter 5: Games of Memory
• Chapter 6: Games of Strategy
• Chapter 7: Games of Skill
• Chapter 8: Games of No Skill and No Strategy (but that are still really fun and you should try to play them anyway)
• Chapter 9: Beer Drinking Sports
• Acknowledgments
• About the Authors
• Copyright