Part I
A New Way of SeeingāThe Quantum Flip
Chapter 1
PROJECT AWAKENING: SHIFTING FROM PAIN TO BLISS
āEverything is energy . . . including this lectern,ā I often say in my talks, and then tap my pen on the wooden surface beside me. With the clicking sound that resounds when the two solid objects connect, I see something click in my audience membersā minds.
The most important (and, to many of the attendees, startling) insight offered in these sessions is the fact that, underneath the tangible, physical form of our body, we humans are pure, intelligent, conscious energyāas is everything else in the universe.
We donāt tend to think of the floors we walk on, the equipment we use, or the people we meet and interact with as made of energy. But they are. And, more importantly, we are. The physical world we perceive with our five senses is actually just energy that is compressed and made dense enough to touch. We label this compressed energy matter, but in reality itās no different from other types of energyālight waves, sound waves, or thoughts.
I grew up as the daughter of a pioneer in energy medicine, and I heard and saw many things that validated the energetic reality of our nature. In his long career, my father, Dr. M. T. Morter Jr., served as president of two chiropractic colleges and, as a researcher and educator, worked with hundreds of thousands of patients and practitioners worldwide, always at the cutting edge of advancements. But as mind-blowing as the discoveries I was privy to often were, nothing I saw or heard in my years of working with my father prepared me to know and experience the full reality and implication of what being an energy being means. It wasnāt until my own profound experience of feeling I was a being of energy that I learned, in the deepest way, what and who I truly amāwho we all are.
We are energy. Our matter, mind, and thoughts are energy. Our flesh and bones are energy. We are integrated, multidimensional beings made of pure energy. And the degree to which we know this truth about ourselves is the degree to which we live either in pain or in bliss.
After my awakening, I realized that there were aspects of my new understanding of who and what we actually are that were not addressed within my fatherās work. Learning to master myself at the level of pure consciousness and explore life from the inside out at this invisible āspiritā energy level was new to me. So I sought answers from ancient Eastern traditions and the masters of consciousness who practiced there. Eventually I left the family business and went off on my own to teach the profound truths I was living and experiencing. I thought my father understood. He said he did; after all, heād done the same thing when heād started his career in health care and branched off from his own familyās work. He was disappointed that Iād moved away from the family, and he disagreed with some of my choices, but on the whole, we were two sides of the same coin, both working to heal and empower people around the world.
When Dad passed, I was fifty-one. I was by his side, holding his hand, at the moment of his transition. I didnāt want him to go: he was my idol, my hero, my mentor. He developed some of the foundational techniques I use in my practice today. We shared so much, even if we were no longer working side by side. I just couldnāt imagine life without him.
Dadās last words to me were, āI love you from the bottom of my heart.ā
āI love you, too, Dad,ā I whispered.
Two weeks after he passed, I was in Colorado, leading a three-day womenās retreat. Twenty minutes before I had to walk onstage to begin the retreatās first session, I got an e-mail from my brother Ted that read simply, āHereās Dadās will.ā Since my mother had passed several years before, his will would dictate the distribution of all of their belongings.
As I read through it, I gasped. Aside from my portion of the proceeds from the sale of my parentsā home, my two brothers would be the sole recipients of the entire estate.
Did he stop loving me? I wondered. What did I do to deserve this kind of rejection? Tears flooded my eyes as I groped for the nearest chair. For several minutes, I just sat there, shaking my head. How can this be? I felt shattered. How was I going to go onstage and lead this program in just a few short moments?
It wasnāt that I wanted or even needed the money or material things, although to be barred from receiving my motherās teacups and her paintings was a blow. No, it was that being cut out of my fatherās will felt like the biggest withdrawal of love I could imagine. Weād worked together, discovered together, accomplished so much together. Iād spent my whole young life desiring his approval and attention, and had later devoted many years and thousands of miles of travel to teach his work for him, even though it always meant leaving my own practice. Now, in this moment, it felt as if he had rescinded his support from everything I was and everything I was doing. The pain was deep. It was unbearable.
āReady, Dr. Sue?ā A voice pulled me back into the room, reminding me that I had to go onstage in a moment. How can I possibly be a facilitator and teacher for others right now? I questioned again. Then I remembered the very work that I do, and the truths that I teach. I had to pull myself togetherāmentally, emotionally, and, most importantly, energetically. I had to realign and reintegrate my āshatteredā energy so I could feel whole and continue to do the work that is my mission in the world. So I immediately did what Iād spent the last fifteen years discovering and teaching to others.
I applied the Energy Codes.
My body calmed down first, as feelings of safety and peace washed through me. My mind followed, landing gently on the solid sense of self that was like a warm ball of light growing bigger and brighter inside me. Suddenly I knew that I was unharmed by this turn of events. Everything was going to be okay. I knew from experience that what had seemed so devastating a moment ago would ultimately be beneficial to me in a larger, more complete context.
Most of all, I could once again feel the truth of my fatherās love. I could see that, ultimately, leaving me out of his will wasnāt a betrayal. I could experience it as a gift of love, one that would be revealed to me at exactly the perfect time.
As this new perspective took over, a smile broke across my face. From within my core, I felt empowered, energized. I couldnāt wait to go onstage and do what I do some 250-plus days a year: share the awe-inspiring discovery of who we really are and how we can miraculously transform every aspect of our lives by more consciously living as that version of ourselves.
As the weekend progressed, I continued to apply the Energy Codes and remained calm, loving, and fully present. In the weeks and months that followed, if negative thoughts or emotions about my dadās will came up, I again used the Energy Codes to not only work through them, but also benefit from them. I deepened my compassion and understanding for everyone involved in the situation, and ultimately even got a glimpse of the higher purpose behind why it had happened in the first place. (Iāll share that with you a little later in the book.)
Now, I have to say, if the news about Dadās will had come to me earlier in my lifeābefore my spiritual breakthrough, and before I developed the Energy Codesāit all would have gone very, very differently. Iād have translated my dadās choice into āWhatās wrong with me?ā or āWhat did I do to deserve this?ā and spiraled into self-doubt. Feeling angry and hurt, I might have withdrawn from my family, possibly ruining our relationships. And because my career was so closely tied to my dadās, I might even have abandoned my lifeās work. I know for sure it would have been a path of suffering and pain for me.
How do I know this? Because until any of us have had the experience of a greater reality about ourselves, we can only come at lifeās challenging situations from the perception that we are inadequate, that there is something missing, wrong, or broken about us. Without knowing a version of ourselves that is indeed perfect, whole, and completeāthe version I call the Soulful Selfāwe have no reference point outside of that old story of inadequacy.
Our problem as humans isnāt that we are inadequate, wrong, or broken; our problem is that we believe we are. This fundamental misconception underlies every other problem, dysfunction, and pain we have. It can turn gifts into burdens, love into unrequited need, and a few challenging moments into lifelong dis-ease.
The good news is, we donāt have to live with this untruth anymore. We donāt have to keep telling ourselves the same old stories about who we are and what is ārealā in our lives. We can realize and reclaim our magnificence and embrace ourselves as the powerful energy beings we areāand create from that place.
We can do this by remembering that we are energy beings, and that energy is the key to everything.
Living in Pain or in Bliss
My transformative āray of lightā experience, my spontaneous breakthrough while in meditation, showed me the truth of my essence as an energy being in a way that I couldnāt ignore or deny. Suspended above Earth as a radiant being of light, I was in another reality altogether. I had awakened to a different version of perceiving lifeāand myself in it. It was as if I were scuba diving, looking out from behind a face mask, aware that the underwater world I was now experiencing was more real, and truer, than life on shore. It felt like Iād been in this place forever and was never going to leave it. I was more at home here than in any concept of āhomeā I ever could have conceived with my mind. Instead of being completely afraid, as Iād been for much of my life, I suddenly experienced myself as completely complete. There was nowhere to go, nothing to do; I could simply be in my absoluteness, my oneness with everything.
This all-encompassing sense of completeness was a total contrast to how Iād experienced myself to date. As an adult working with my father in his seminars, I found meaning and purpose, but I also suffered from debilitating migraines and a persistent fatigue; for years I napped during my lunch breaks. I was always ready to please, fix, and prevent conflict in any form. Relationships were often arduous, yet I set out to āmake them workā even if that meant I wasnāt true to myself. After graduating from chiropractic college, I set up a clinical practice and had great success in the outer world, but lacked deep internal joy and real fulfillment. In short, I was suffering. Not because I was doing anything āwrong,ā but because I was operating according to a set of rules that were not based upon my true nature.
When we struggle, it is not because we are flawed or unworthy, but because we are trying to solve problems, pain, and challenges using the very forces that generated them: the mind and the Protective Personality.
THE PAINFUL PERSPECTIVE OF THE PROTECTIVE PERSONALITY
Until we know ourselves to be energy, or spirit, we believe that we are the body and/or the mind. This single misperception about our identity causes us untold suffering and is at the heart of every problem we have in life. Why? Because so much of our true nature is excluded with this view. Something feels missing, so we perceive that something is missing, or wrong, or broken about us. We then spend all our time and effort trying to compensate for feeling inadequate, as I did growing up and for years into my career. Stress, dysfunction, and disease are all by-products of this misperception. We feel like something is missing; we try to prove ourselves right or worthy; we try to fix whatās broken. When we donāt identify with the energy that we actually are, we canāt feel our inherent wholeness and well-being. To gain some sense of orientation for navigating life, the mind then starts to write stories about how something is missing, or wrong, or broken about us.
These stories and thoughts, in turn, affect us at an energetic level (because we are energy). The power of thought affects our reality; these internal stories are no different. When the mind, instead of seeing how we are integrated with the fabric of the universe and inherently connected to All That Is, writes stories about how we are separate and alone, we perceive ourselves as separate and alone. Thus isolated, we donāt feel safe. We think we need protection to exist in the world. Weāre constantly on guard against threats and scan the external world for all of the places where we arenāt getting the approval, acceptance, and love we believe we need to be safe. Rather than creating from our own heartās desire and actively pursuing a life we love, we continually jockey for survival.
This fear-based, survival-centric identity is sometimes referred to as the ego or the false self, but I call it the Protective Personality. Whatever you call it, though, this protective approach to life tends to limit what we are willing to try, because āsafetyā is its first priority. This makes our relationships with others very conditional, keeps us off-balance, and creates continual stress that eventually takes a major toll, mentally, emotionally, and physically.
On top of this, the battle we fight as the Protective Personality is hopeless, because itās based in that single, destructive belief that we are the problem. Although we each have our own tools for coping with this belief, and even circumnavigating it to some extent, none of us is exempt from living from this painful perspective (at least in part). Itās simply an aspect of the human condition . . . again, until itās not!
Fortunately, the Energy Codesā most profound purpose is the integration of the Protective Personality with our true natureāthe Soulful Self; this integration offers nearly limitless potential for healing at every level of our lives. We are changing the game. We are disregarding the notion that living from the Protective Personality is the only option. We are evolving as a species into a new and more complete way of living, loving, and being.
HEAVENEARTH: OUR EVOLUTION TO LIVING AS THE SOULFUL SELF
When we start to see ourselves as the pure, magnificent energy beings we are, we automatically begin our journey to experiencing wholeness. It truly is that simple.
When we know we are energy beings, we begin to live away from the fear-based stories our minds create and start living from the other option that is available to usāthe perspective of our true, eternal nature as the Soulful Self. Rather than focusing externally, always scanning the horizon for what may do us harm, we focus inward on the energy within and around our body and rely on it to show us what is true for us. When we do this, life flows effortlessly. Opportunities for love and expansion are revealed naturally; we only have to lean in, say yes, and let them unfold. We are powerfully loving, and lovingly powerful. We know and feel our oneness with everything and feel separate from nothing. Stress and worry donāt exist, because we know, unequivocally, that everything in our life ultimately serves our expansion and well-being.
I speak about this peaceful, magical state from direct experience. My journey into awakening as the Soulful Self followed a pivotal moment of surrender that left me irreversibly changed. My body felt as if it was glowing. My mind wanted only to revel in what it had been exposed to, rather than process it in any way. Iād gained a completely new perspective on who and what we truly are. Although I had not yet begun to integrate my experience (in fact, I initially felt rather disoriented and was taken to a nearby house to lie down), I knew that my reality would never be the same. That proved to be true, and the period that immediately followed the experience was interesting, to say the least!
When I got home that night, I fell into a state of bliss that I never wanted to leave. For many days, whenever I raised my head off the pillow I would be pulled from ecstasy and into a sense of standing under the thunderously whirring blades of a helicopter about to take off. It was as if Iād absorbed a super-high-frequency energy that neither my body nor my mind had a context for. Then, as I laid my head back down or when I would slip into a meditation, I was instantly immersed in the most exquisite state imaginable. Visions of electric and iridescent colors, shapes, and other realms would open up in my mindāthe most beautiful sights Iād ever witnessed. These were followed by vignettes of images simultaneously bringing messages and perceptions of all kinds of truths. It was all so grand, brilliant, and pristine! I was in bliss, in a state of ananda or samadhi, as they call it in the yogic traditions, and I never want...