One Green Bottle

Hideki Noda

• Publisher: Oberon Books
• Year: 2018
• Print ISBN: 9781786824998
• eBook ISBN: 9781786825001
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Media & Performing Arts
• Subtopic: Theatre

Boo, Bo and Pickle have all made plans tonight. But someone has to stay home and look after Princess. People are waiting, start times are looming. No one's budging and petty bickering soon spirals into a ludicrous battle of wills and, possibly, the end of the world. Renowned Japanese writer, performer and Artistic Director of the Tokyo Metropolitan Theatre Hideki Noda paints a portrait of a disconnected family on a self-destructive course in this satirical comedy about consumerism and technology in a 'selfie' society. With music and soundscape influenced by traditional Japanese Noh and Kabuki performed live by legendary Japanese Kabuki musician Denzaemon Tanaka XIII. English translation adapted by Will Sharpe.

ACT ONE

We are looking at the inside part of a house, but mapped onto the traditional shape of a Noh stage. A runway (or “hashigakari”) extends from the wings at stage right and connects with the main section of the stage; this is their front hallway (or “genkan”) and, where the “hashigakari” meets the stage, there are neat rows of shoes, and perhaps slippers, as you would find in a Japanese home.

The main playing space is a combined living and dining room. Towards stage right, nearer the “genkan / hashigakari”, stairs lead up to a second floor that we do not see. Towards stage left is a doorway, with a dividing curtain (or “noren”) on which is the image of a “matsubame” pine tree (as you would find on a Noh stage), which leads to a kitchen. Near the centre of this room is a low Japanese style table with cushions (or “zabuton”) for kneeling on. There are also four pillars, one in each corner – reminiscent of the traditional pillar (or “hashira”) of the Noh stage. In the front stage right corner, this “hashira” is in fact a strange sort of totem of plug sockets, from which many wires extend into the clutter of the room. This Multiplug “Hashira” is connected up to and seemingly powers a wifi router, a boxy television and an old fashioned landline telephone. Other wires extend off to unseen corners of the house, especially up the stairs. All electronics lead back, via a series of wires, to this Multiplug Pillar.

BO (60s) slowly enters along the “hashigakari”. An old fashioned television comes to life. The signal seems to be quite bad and the screen and audio fizzles in and out of full clarity.

NEWS: A legend of the classical stage… his wife and daughter. The family… mysteriously chained… surrounded by dead-

As he arrives on stage, BO begins practicing, making theatrical noises and humming along vaguely to the Kabuki style music as he does so. His costume and make-up are again an other-worldly clash of Kabuki, Noh and classical western theatre.

Enter BOO (60s), BO’s Japanese wife, carrying a tray of dinner. BOO too is dressed and made up mostly borrowing from the traditional look of a Japanese house wife and iconic house wife characters from anime such as “Sazaesan. Her comparatively normal appearance, including spectacles, is an odd counterpoint to BO’s current appearance. She enters in a slightly hurried manner, but seems in a good mood, excited about something, humming to herself perhaps. The dinner is set out in little sections as in a traditional Japanese meal. Chopsticks rather than cutlery. BOO, as a traditional Japanese housewife would, sits and waits for BO to finish. BO performs one final stretch which develops into him looking at a watch on his wrist. He stops mid-stretch, noticing the time; he looks slightly alarmed. He relaxes and then goes to sit with BOO. When BO is sat, BOO turns on TV (the programme is of Sumo wrestling) they start eating quite hurriedly. BO stops eating and looks at the table and then at BOO.

BO: Is there water? (Switches off the TV.) … Boo?

BOO: Oh, did I forget the water? I’m so sorry…

BOO gets up and heads for the kitchen.

BO: Thank you, my dear. I’m thoroughly pooped from my daily theatrical practice.

BOO re-enters casually. She has a handbag, but no water. She sits down and resumes eating. BO looks at her for a time but BOO takes no notice.

BO: Um… Boo… Water?

BOO: Ah… sumimasen-ne… Water…

BOO scurries off into the kitchen again, distractedly popping his head back in occasionally over the course of the below.

BO: Terribly hot in here. Is the heating on?

BOO: I prefer the house to be warm. Turn it off when I’m gone.

BO: Gone? … Gone where? I’m the one who’s going to be gone, Boo.

BOO re-enters fully.

BOO: … What.

BO: Tonight.

BOO: No no no no… Uso desho.

BO: No it’s not “uso” – I’m going out. I told you.
I said I was going out.

BOO: I’m going out!

BO: But we discussed it and you granted approval.

BOO: Maybe I was wearing my ear plugs.

BO: Ear plugs?

BOO: Yes. Sometimes I wear ear plugs. Why? Because you are so boring.

BO: Well even the most fortress-like ear defenders couldn’t deflect a voice as rich and powerfully diaphragmatic as mine. Why do you think we sound-proofed the entire house at great expense? Because the neighbours all complained about the might of my chanting!

(Performing.) Tsuini yuku michitowa kanete kikishikado kinokyotowa omowazarishiwo.

BOO: Babbling, babbling – always babbling.

BO: I took extreme care to lay it all out so you couldn’t play that sneaky card you have up your sleeve where you pretend you’ve misunderstood what I’ve said

BOO: You always pretend not to understand because of my accent. I said – very...

Table of contents

• Front Cover
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Contents
• Act One
• Act Two