CHAPTER ONE
THE THREE DIMENSIONS OF NEGOTIATING
1. Subject: What do you negotiate?
“Only those who will risk going too far
can possibly find out how far one can go.”
T.S. ELIOT
As stated in the introduction, negotiating is divided into three blocks or dimensions:
1. Subject: What do you negotiate?
2. Actors: With whom do you negotiate?
3. Process: How do you negotiate?
The word negotiation comes from the Latin term negotiari, which means “trade”. However, to speak about negotiating is not just to speak about trade, but also about interpersonal relationships of all kinds: personal and professional.
In 1981, the authors of the famous book Getting to Yes defined negotiating as “back-and-forth communication designed to reach an agreement when you and the other side have some interests that are shared and others that are opposed”. This concept of interest is essential to modern negotiation theory.
In any negotiation, there is an initial position (“I want”) that hides interests, ambitions, fears or motivations (“I really want it, because”). Basically, you negotiate to protect these interests. You negotiate a starting position, but what you are trying to do is defend the interests that hide this position. Let’s look at some examples.
Example 1:
I want to buy a car (my position), but what is my interest in doing so? Ninety per cent of all people who enter a car dealership want to buy a car. Still, let’s identify four different assumptions from the same position (“I want to buy a car”), but with different interests.
a) Someone with a large family might be interested in driving their five children to school, so he or she will need a vehicle with a capacity for at least six people.
b) The commercial manager of a company will be interested in visiting clients, so he or she may need a more utilitarian car that is more comfortable to drive, looks professional and has low fuel consumption.
c) Someone who wants to buy a car because they live in the mountains or work in the fields, interested in getting around, sometimes in snow and rain and on unpaved roads, would need a 4x4 better adapted to their daily life.
d) Another person who wants a car just for the pleasure of it would be interested in satisfying their passion for driving and would be more inclined to buy a sports car.
Interests represent everyone’s needs, and if a seller does not identify them correctly, he or she will never be able to offer the right vehicle to the interested person or reach the right agreement.
Example 2:
Someone wants to join a gym, but why? Everyone has different interests:
a) To get in shape and stay healthy.
b) To gain volume and muscle mass.
c) To meet that special someone.
d) To spend time with their friends who go to the same gym.
e) To improve their social image.
Interests are each person’s ambitions and aspirations. These interests can be very diverse depending on each person’s conditions.
We must be able to discover a negotiator’s true motivation: their true interests, fears and ambitions. We do not negotiate to reach an agreement—we negotiate to protect our interests and preserve the relationship.
A fundamental part of negotiating is identifying these interests, such as by investigating, asking and anticipating.
So it is clear that when we negotiate, we have a twofol...