Paper Cuts

Comedic and satirical monologues for audition or performance

Kirsty Budding

• Publisher: Budding Theatre
• Year: 2017
• eBook ISBN: 9780648219842
• Topic: Media & Performing Arts
• Subtopic: Theatre

Paper Cuts offers thirty-six contemporary, character-driven monologues for actors aged eighteen to eighty.

Ranging from one to seven minutes, Budding presents a vivid collection of characters both familiar and fanciful. From biting satire to the bizarre and quirky, each monologue is a fresh and insightful glimpse into relationships, work, politics, religion, growing old, and other idiosyncrasies of modern life.

Paper Cuts is the perfect weapon to unleash on your next audition or showcase.

Contents

Introduction

by Cate Clelland

Gertrude’s Sweetheart (♂)

Mother to an Adult Daughter (♀)

Gym Selfies (♂)

Running into the Ex (♀)

The Director’s Notes (♂ | ♀)

Skype (♂ | ♀)

Don’t Leave Me (♂)

The Honest Estate Agent (♂ | ♀)

Please Accept my Resignation (♀)

Love Thy Neighbour (♂ | ♀)

The Smitten Scientist (♂)

Just Browsing (♂ | ♀)

Aleksandr (♀)

The CEO (♂)

I Have a Dream, Carol (♀)

Conservative Date (♀)

Unwanted Gifts (♂ | ♀)

Hairspray Island (♂)

The Law Student (♂ | ♀)

The Modern Fairytale (♀)

Sex with Molly (♂)

Disturbed Dance Instructor (♀)

Aunty Austen (♀)

Beach Blues (♂ | ♀)

The Principal’s Address (♂ | ♀)

Not Creepy (♀)

Etiquette (♂)

A Plant Like Jimmy (♀)

Date Night (♂)

Enabler (♀)

Grandma’s Sex Advice (♀)

Caravan Dreams (♀)

Bitch (♀)

The Actor (♂)

Awwww (♀)

Things I Hate (♂ | ♀)

Introduction

by Cate Clelland

Kirsty Budding has contributed a great deal to theatre in Canberra over the past few years: through her theatre company Budding Theatre; her theatrical events—especially Christmas shows; her drama classes; her work with children; her support of the work of other writers; and, particularly, her own writing of plays both short and full-length.

Now she offers a new and highly practical contribution in the form of a collection of monologues for actors and performers.

The selection offered by Paper Cuts provides a tool for actors who are preparing an audition piece, for those wanting a performance piece, and also for those wanting to explore character or to develop and hone their narrative skills.

The book offers a range of monologues for adults, with selections suitable for both males and females and for a wide range of ages—from young adults to the over sixties. There’s something for everybody.

The wide range of subject matter includes personal relationships (predicably enough), everyday situations, and more fanciful scenarios. The subtitle “Comedic and satirical monologues” gives us a pretty clear idea as to the nature of most of the pieces. Most of them are indeed amusing—if not downright hilarious. The satire is sometimes very biting.

While many are rooted in realism and present familiar situations, others are more fanciful—even bizarre and quirky. All are well-observed, and occasionally poetic.

I recommend this book as a valuable tool for actors and performers—but also for the reader with no theatrical aspirations who might like to be entertained by these amusing and witty snapshots of contemporary life.

Enjoy!

GERTRUDE’S SWEETHEART

♂, 65+

I met Gertrude at the bingo. She’d lost her glasses and couldn’t see her numbers; I was the lucky man who got to help her guide her pen. Every time my hand brushed hers, she giggled like a sixteen year old. Made me forget I was in a retirement home. I was so happy; I couldn’t bring myself to tell her that her glasses had been on her head the whole time.

The next morning, I walked down to the corner shop to buy her some flowers. I thought of her giggle every step of the way. But by the time I got back to the residents’ lounge, the seat next to her was taken.

It was Mr Willoughby—that smooth-talking Lothario from 29a. He’s a retired British officer who wears a tweed suit and has the straightest back I’ve ever seen. Hardly any arthritis. He sounds like David Attenborough and he can dance—not just a slow dance; he can do the twist, the jitterbug, the tango.

He’s next to Gertrude telling jokes and she’s giggling away, saying, “Oh Mr Willoughby, you are funny!”

Cad. (Confiding a secret) Last year, there was a scandal inv...

Table of contents

• Cover
• About the playwright
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Dedication
• Contents
• Introduction
• Gertrude’s Sweetheart (♂)
• Mother to an Adult Daughter (♀)
• Gym Selfies (♂)
• Running into the Ex (♀)
• The Director’s Notes (♂ | ♀)
• Skype (♂ | ♀)
• Don’t Leave Me (♂)
• The Honest Estate Agent (♂ | ♀)
• Please Accept my Resignation (♀)
• Love Thy Neighbour (♂ | ♀)
• The Smitten Scientist (♂)
• Just Browsing (♂ | ♀)
• Aleksandr (♀)
• The CEO (♂)
• I Have a Dream, Carol (♀)
• Conservative Date (♀)
• Unwanted Gifts (♂ | ♀)
• Hairspray Island (♂)
• The Law Student (♂ | ♀)
• The Modern Fairytale (♀)
• Sex with Molly (♂)
• Disturbed Dance Instructor (♀)
• Aunty Austen (♀)
• Beach Blues (♂ | ♀)
• The Principal’s Address (♂ | ♀)
• Not Creepy (♀)
• Etiquette (♂)
• A Plant Like Jimmy (♀)
• Date Night (♂)
• Enabler (♀)
• Grandma’s Sex Advice (♀)
• Caravan Dreams (♀)
• Bitch (♀)
• The Actor (♂)
• Awwww (♀)
• Things I Hate (♂ | ♀)