Golf Course Management - The Secret Strategy for Success
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Golf Course Management - The Secret Strategy for Success

Earn more money, convince people, learn negotiation & sales, use the power of rhetoric business-psychology & communication

Simone Janson, Simone Janson, Simone Janson

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eBook - ePub

Golf Course Management - The Secret Strategy for Success

Earn more money, convince people, learn negotiation & sales, use the power of rhetoric business-psychology & communication

Simone Janson, Simone Janson, Simone Janson

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Guiding small talk properly: expanding the network [8 times checklist]
// By Simone Janson

Often enough you stutter around, because you do not have exactly this answer - especially with small talk. However, it is the basis for optimal relationships with colleagues and business partners. Therefore, it is important to know how to skillfully talk about trivial things.

Small talk lead safely

“Any answer that is so clever that the listener wishes he had given it is quick-witted” wrote the essayist Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915).
Mr. R. works on the tenth floor of an office complex. Every morning he stands in the elevator with the same colleagues - and everyone stares at the door in convulsive silence until it finally opens. “What a stupid situation”, he thinks “but I only know people from seeing them. I can't just say anything… ”Mr. R. quietly admires his colleague H., who finds the right words in every situation and who is equally popular with colleagues and superiors.

This is how you find the right topic of conversation

Start a conversation. Everyone start mute to the door. Take the initiative: If you are standing in the elevator near the counter: “Hello. Which floor do you have to go to? I'm already doing this ... here? "
You only know your colleague from seeing? Never mind: “Good afternoon. We meet here now and then. Which department do you work in? " or: “It's funny that we meet here every day. It only takes ten floors, but still. Are you busy? " Do you know people a little better? Talk about something pleasant: "How was it on vacation?"

Embarrassing is just what you find embarrassing!

"What will he think of me?" Behind these questions lies the fear of being rejected by others. Make it clear to yourself: a rejection is not a damning judgment on you as a person. Even if you make a mistake, just laugh or read more tips on how to deal with taunts.
The others forgot something faster than you think. And anyway: no one expects you to make any profound comments about science, politics or painting. Most people want to relax in small talk, not solve stressful problems. Is not that exactly the case with you?

Checklist: Do not try too hard

Wrong: Mr R. would like to say something particularly intelligent, but he cannot think of anything because he is only putting himself under pressure with his expectations that are too high. If he just said “Well, how's it going?”, The others would certainly find it embarrassing ...
Better: First, explore the situation: Watch the people present.
  • Who are you interested in?
  • Who else stands apart?
  • Who does not seem to know how to get in touch with the others?
  • Who clings convulsively to his glass (at the company party)?
  • Who do you like sympathetic?

Find connecting points

Even if it seems difficult to get into conversation with people you hardly know or do not even know, you can approach people with ease and ease. Find a starting point from each situation or behavior of others.
Mr R. is standing in line in the canteen. "Like me. What would you recommend: the tortellini or the chicken breast?" he asks the colleague in front of him. Not very inventive, but he gets a friendly answer: “I will definitely take the tortellini, because I like Italian food”. Now it's Mr. R.'s turn: “Yes, I like Italian food a lot too. By the way, I'm ... don't we want to eat together? " There are enough good opportunities for a chat in between.

Checklist: Typical situations and related topics

In every situation there is the appropriate opportunity, to which you can relate thematically. If possible, find a positive start - otherwise you will be a grumbler. Here is a small selection:
  • Before the meeting: Discuss the topic of the meeting or the last meeting: “We have achieved a lot last week. I'm curious how it goes today. "
  • At the company party: talk about the company's successes. Or just the music, the food, the drinks, etc. ”Isn't it great what our boss has organized? He has every reason to be happy where things are going so well. The music is really great! But are there still salmon rolls? "
  • In the hallway: talk about how things are going at work. Or what is available in the canteen today: “Did you have stress today? I'm curious to see what is good to eat today. We really deserve it. "
  • In the copy room: Let us talk about the technology together: “Now there's a paper jam again. Do you know how to do that? "
  • In the parking lot: Talk about cars: "Oh, you own this great car?"
  • At the bus stop or on the platform - you see that your colleague looks at his watch in exasperation: "The train sometimes comes too late, but it's less stressful than by car - don't you think?"

Checklist: The right greeting as an optimal introduction to small-talk

Whether you talk to someone depends very much on whether everything starts right from the start. You should therefore pay attention to a few points.
  • Imagine yourself: Someone who immediately names his name gives more confidence than the great silence. Even if name tags are present or your counterpart already knows by whom he is in front of you, you look more polite and sympathetic when you personally introduce yourself again.
  • Welcome the attendees in the right order: first the boss, then the head of the department, then the secretary. Exception: Longtime colleagues may also welcome you in front of the supervisor. In the case of like-minded persons, the lady is greeted in front of the gentleman.
  • If you don't know a name: First, imagine: “Hello, I'm ...” Usually the opposite is followed. If the other person only follows a monosyllabic “Hello”, follow up. Ask: "And you are ...?"
  • If you do not understand the name of the person you are talking to, simply ask: "Will you please tell me your name again?" or: "Did I understand your name correctly: H.?"
You can usually leave out titles such as “Mr. President” or “Mr. Management” in the salutation. Some people, especially older, conservative ones, attach particular importance to their title, even with very high-ranking personalities (especially in an official context) it is still common. Example: You write to the mayor with the request to say an official greeting on your company anniversary. Then write “Dear Lord Mayor”.

After the greeting: what's next?

First, let the other person do the talking and listen carefully. Many people do not have the patience to do this, so your counterpart will be happy about your honest interest and will tell something about themselves all by themselves. Comment on his statements with small interludes and appropriate gestures. Examples: An affirmative “Yes, yes…” with a slight nod of the head or an astonished “Oh?” while lifting your chin slightly. Just let the conversation go.
Even if it does not have to be just flowers: honest interest in the other is important. (Next paragraph above)
Sometimes the first sentences contain points of reference. “Does your colleague like Italian food?” Your creativity is now in demand: Which images appear in your mind's eye? Form chains of associations, for example: “Eating - free time - vacation. Your colleague probably likes Italy… ”And then you ask attentively:“ Have you been to Italy on vacation? Oh, in Tuscany - where exactly? "

Talk about the job

Of course, it's a good idea to talk about the job. "Well, are you busy in the department?" But as general as possible. If you are too interested in asking about details, the other person may get the impression that you are tactically trying to spy on important information.
But the situation in which you find yourself usually provides enough hooks for a chat. Start with a question like, “Don't you think the tortellini are too mushy and bland? So I know a restaurant for Italian food .. ”If you can't think of anything, go back to general topics. Talk about what the food was like or the environment you are in.

Top 10 themes for small talk

  1. Movies, books, music
  2. Arts and Culture
  3. Events
  4. Nature and weather
  5. Work-outs
  6. Cooking, eating, drinking
  7. Leisure, hobbies, holidays
  8. Current affairs
  9. common interests and areas of work
  10. Special features of the place and the surroundings (end checklist)

Well prepared with a theme dossier in the Small Talk

Find topics that exactly fit your conversation partner by creating a dossier with his personal preferences. You can then retrieve this at any time:
Place your dossier on index cards, in a folder, in a file on the computer, or on your handheld. Or make a note of the important information in your address directory. Important: You should always have your dossier at hand and find the person quickly - sort it alphabetically.

Write down information about your conversation partners

Write down preferences, hobbies, habits - and also, which one does not like. Then you always know which topic you can and which not. But: Of course, the other one must not realize that you lead such a dossier, he would otherwise spy on. The dossier is just a reminder for you.
Example: Mr H. enthusiastically talks about the surf course on his last vacation while eating. After dinner, Mr R. noted in his address file: “Mr H., Office 305, extension -37, likes Italy, Italian food, likes surfing.” Now he knows how to always find a positive topic in Mr. H.
If you are invited for a specific occasion, consider which topics fit there. If necessary, search some points. Mr. R. is invited by a colleague to play golf and first learns about the basic rules. Who has which interests? This is also how your dossier looks like. Important: Keep track of things.

Nonverbal signals

Nonverbal signals such as body language, facial expression and voice support your small talk. In a short time, you let the person in the conversation know whether you are of the same or different opinion as him.
  • eye contact
  • Smile Friendly Smile, do not grimace
Always keep eye contact, because if you look away, the other one feels rightly ignored. If you find it uncomfortable to look directly into the eyes of the other person: Concentrate on a point in the middle of the nose, just above eye level. This creates the impression that you were in eye contact.
Smile easily, but do not grimace. Because: Smile is also an elegant way to show your opponents teeth and can therefore cause aggression. Your opponent may interpret it as a non-seriousness of his person, as a condescension, and in the worst case as a malicious grin. Especially when the discussion is already heated, it can be provocative. The smile has to fit the situation and the topic.

The voice

The voice also sends out non-verbal signals. A shaky, hectic or too high voice betrays nervousness or uncertainty. The tone shows whether you are fully in the game or bored and distracted. Take a look.
The right distance is also crucial for the success of the Small Talk: Every person has certain distance zones in which he feels safe: Into the intimate zone (from 50 cm to 1 meters around the human being) only life partners and very close relatives may penetrate , The personal zone (from 1 to 1,5 meters) belongs to friends and acquaintances, relatives and happy colleagues. Keep a distance of at least 1,5 meters if you hardly know your colleague.

distance zones

Because: In the social zone (1,5 to 4 meters), colleagues and supervisors stay on. You may temporarily interrupt this distance, for example if you want to read a message on the PC together - but then take it back immediately.
The public zone (more than 4 meters), on the other hand, is too great a distance to allow communication beyond “Hello”. Maintain a reasonable distance from your interlocutor. Pay attention to his signals.

Checklist: Communication per eMail - if the non-verbal signals are missing

You can send information by eMail mediate as quickly as personally or by phone. Still have eMails one major drawback: you can not support your statement through voice or body language, so you can only express what you want to say with your words. Choose them carefully.
  • Always adhere to the most important rules for written communication such as correct salutation and courtesies; if you per eMail discuss, argue or say something negative, take special care.
  • Pay attention to the spelling. If you want to make sure your eMail also arrives correctly, write umlauts “ae”, “oe” etc. Strange characters in one eMail look rude - even if it is not meant that way.
  • If yours eMail A little relax and the occasion is informal: express your feelings through smilies, such as joy or irony through :-), or negative feelings through :-). But beware: do not overdo it. A smiley pro eMail enough.
  • Avoid too many exclamation points. These can support individual statements, but in the mass you put the reader under pressure and are extremely disturbing.
  • So your reader knows what it's all about: Use a meaningful subject. Avoid cumbersome introductions, get straight to the point. In addition, mark particularly important statements in bold. But never just write capital letters - it seems like you want to scream.
  • Previous eMailIt may be useful for the reader to recreate the context. But: Mark the quote clearly and write your own eMail always above it, so that the reader has the important thing right in front of him.
  • The signature should consist of a maximum of four lines. Make sure that you do not duplicate the signatures for each answer with the preceding mails.
  • The dispatch: Even if mass-mailing go faster: Write a personal one to each addressee eMail - that looks friendlier and more polite. Only use the highest priority level if it really matters.

Distinguish elegant from difficult topics

Beware of difficult topics: first they make you nervous and suddenly the break is there! Especially if you do not know people, there are misunderstandings, because you accidentally cut wound points.
Mr R., for example, raves about the walks with his dog while eating. Mr. H. grimaces: “Oh, you are also one of these dog owners ..? I was recently bitten by a dog. ”Now instinct is required so that the harmless conversation does not become a fundamental discussion.

Problem topics and how to handle them

If you notice that you have made a mistake: Say something reassuring, such as: "That always depends on how such a dog is brought up." But then don't insist on your position, but lead you on to another, positive topic: “But tell me again exactly where the hotel you stayed in was in the summ...

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