How To Put Yourself Across

Elmer Wheeler

• Publisher: Golden Springs Publishing
• Year: 2016
• ISBN:
  9781787202948
• Topic: Business
• Subtopic: Advertising
• Index: Business

This is Elmer's newest book. It is his best yet. It will bring you up to date on all the methods, techniques and strategy used, not only in America to win friends, but from around the world.He constantly brings out methods used worldwide to make friends. He has discovered many ways to get along in life as used for centuries by people of other lands, but never practiced in the United States. He will tell you, for example, about the soft sell of Japan; the bargain ways of Hong Kong; the winning silk appeals of Bangkok people; the image sell of India and so forth—how these people sell themselves to others and go places in life.Truly, this is a collection of best ways—and test ways—to make friends, keep old friends—and go places.You'll live, you'll learn, you'll become a master of self-sell, once you've read these lively chapters of Mr. Sizzle.

HOW TO PUT YOURSELF ACROSS

1. How to win others to your way of thinking of everlasting friendship

“Cuba, Si; Yankee, No!” offers

a great lesson in how to win others

to your way of thinking

for everlasting friendship—

if used in complete reverse

“A friend is a present you give yourself.”—Robert Louis Stevenson

I moved over to Fidel Castro’s table.

He had motioned me over, and I had greeted him, “Buenas noches, Dr. Castro. Que pasa?”

He ran his fingers through his trade-marked beard, shoved the whiskered cabbage across the banquet table toward me, and said softly, “You, señor, are a salesman from the U.S. Tell me, por favor, how can I sell myself to your people?”

I was about to respond when a photographer, overhearing Castro’s plea, snapped our photos. Then as I began to gather my thoughts to tell him, a U.S. representative stood up to make a short talk at this international gathering of 2,000 members of the American Society of Travel Agents.

Somehow he was failing to sell himself to Castro with his rather weak explanation of why Havana had been bombed with leaflets, from planes supposedly from the United States. The reason for the failure of our man seemed to be in the use of too diplomatic language for Castro to accept, of words too remote for Castro to understand. Castro had an English understanding of only some 200 words. He turned his beard from me and began to glower at the diplomat floundering in wordage.

I thought it best to retreat to my table.

Presently our man sat down the distinguished president of ASTA stood up for his turn to talk. He had been down among the Cuban people that afternoon as they paraded around our hotels with signs, which read, TELL THE PEOPLE OF THE U.S. THE REAL STORY OF THE LEAFLETS. The placards signed, “Methodist Church,” “Baptist Church” and so forth, were paraded in an endeavor to win over these 2,000 travel agents. He had been in the middle of the mob at times, raising his coat in one hand, gesticulating in true Cuban fashion with the other, shouting back, “We are friends, amigos—friends!”

The people responded to this shirt sleeved man from the United States, head of a very well-known travel firm, for they liked the way he went among them, arms in windmill fashion, always a smile on his face to assure these people that his country had nothing to do with the leaflet bombing. Castro also liked him as he spoke, for again he was talking simple language, with emotional delivery, backed up with sincere smiles.

Suddenly Castro could restrain himself no longer. He leaped to his feet and put his arms around him and shouted, “This man, I love!”

“Cuba, Si; Yankee, No!”

The student of human nature now asks:

What had the diplomat done, or failed to do, that the travel agent did to win this tyrant over?

What lessons in getting ourselves across with friends, relatives, neighbors and business associates and customers, can be learned from this critical moment in Cuban-American relations? Wherein spoken words from one annoyed a dictator, the words of another won him over in dramatic fashion, delaying the “Cuba, Si; Yankee, No!” era.

What lessons can you and I learn from this fateful banquet in Havana that preceded an era of “Cuba, Si; Yankee, No!” sentiment in many parts of the world?

I studied the situation. Things went from bad to worse, then all the way to impossible. I have often felt that our bad relationships with Cuba began at that banquet, despite Allen’s one-man attempt to prevent a situation from growing. I have since traveled clear around South America, with Panagra Airlines as my host, and have heard two sides of the story. I have visited with many South American observers. From them I have learned useful rules in putting yourself across to use in handling the recalcitrant, the stubborn, the obnoxious—rules that can also be used in your own daily life to get yourself sold to others.

There are great lessons to be learned from this night in Havana. Here began that downfall in relationships. A point where a man turned from Dr. Jekyll into Mr. Hyde because of words alone. When one man talked above the head of the person he was trying to sell, clothing his language in fine bits of diplomacy that, for the moment, was not fitting for the occasion. The other man spoke in the language of the dictator and delayed, even though momentarily, the world outbursts that we have come to know only too well from the bushy-faced one.

Perhaps Castro did not understand fully the words of the travel agent, but he felt and sensed from the tones of the speaker’s voice, and his facial gestures, that here was a man who had sympathies, was sincere, and spoke from his heart and not page 13 of some diplomatic manual on procedures.

There seems a time to break away from the rule books, and this was one.

I can shout at my dog, “COME NICE DOGGIE AND GET A JUICY BONE.” My tone of voice will prompt the dog to back away from me. My glare will frighten him. But should I say in sweet tones, with a smile, “Come nice doggie and get a good beating,” the dog will respond to tone and gesture and come to me.

That is the first lesson to be learned: proper tone of voice and gesture in dealing with people.

For Castro had come to the banquet to make friends. He had rebuilt a revolutionary-torn airport in 45 days to welcome the 2,000 travel agents from around the world, to inspire them to return home and sell Cuba. He had planted tall palm trees from airport to hotels, lined them with placards of welcome. He had gathered $1.00 contributions from waiters all over Cuba to help pay for the banquet fiesta and the performance he planned; every popular chef in Cuba contributed food. He was prepared to sell himself to the world.

Then came the anti-Castro leaflet bombardment. He still went through with his banquet plans, then wrong words brought out the beast hidden in his whiskers. Well, you know the horrible Castro story from there on. It is part of history, not part of this book on how to put yourself across with others. But it has retaught us the rules in winning people over.

Perhaps other situations would have arisen anyway to fire off the whiskered tyrant. You be the judge. That’s not the purpose of this story. My purpose is to ascertain how we might have made the signs read, “Yankees, si’ Communism, nyet!” And here are some rules that you can apply daily to win over friends, neighbors, relatives, family or to use in your business contacts:

Rule 1. Use Simple Words

Too often we talk above the heads of others. We lack an understanding of the vocabulary of the ones we are trying to sell. We insult the intelligence of others with our intelligence; or we make use of words that fail to reach the hearts of others. We talk over their heads.

We are apt to flaunt our education by quoting Latin mottoes or French bon mots, or use diplomatic hog-wash that fails to strike the heart, only to hit the brain a whack.

The first trick in winning over others is to use words that the other person comprehends easily and that leave no room for misunderstanding. “It saves your back,” says the washing machine seller, and wins a woman over who would look in bewilderment if he had said, “This machine won’t give you lumbago.” Simple words strike hearts of people—complicated ones bring perplexed wrinkles on brows. So learn the art of saying something simple.

Rule 2. Talk Their Own Language

With a German audience or customer, talk facts. With an Oriental, talk gently. With an Indian, step up your speed of delivery, but in a reverent Indian manner. With a U.S. audience you can jest.

Individuals, as well as countries, respond to one who speaks their own language, or failing to know the language, at least speaks words they like to hear. For example, the mid-westerner likes to hear his first name; but a New Englander likes to hear Mr. in front of his name.

Truck drivers, bookkeepers, purchasing agents, friends, neighbors—the family—like familiar sounding words, those they themselves would use. It warms them up to the other person.

Be one of them—and win them.

Rule 3. Smile As You Talk

They may fail to understand what you’re talking about, but your smile disarms them. It indicates you are friendly.

In Italy, a land of great demonstrative and emotional reactions, I have often observed two people getting into a heated curb-side argument. Small groups will gather around and take sides. On one such occasion I asked my friend, Aloschi, what the fight was about. He told me, “It is no fight, my friend. The two are merely discussing where to eat. They will have a similar lively argument in the restaurant over which sauce to have on their spaghetti. If you understand this Italian trait you will better understand the people.”

I believe Aloschi’s last sentence gives the trick of winning others—that is to “understand” the people you are dealing with. In that way you will fit into their likes, dislikes, moods and habits.

Soon we will see how this is done.

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