For Peter Pan on her 70th birthday (TCG Edition)

Sarah Ruhl

• Publisher: Theatre Communications Group
• Year: 2018
• ISBN:
  9781559368797
• Topic: Letteratura
• Subtopic: Teatro americano

• World premiere at the Humana Festival of New American Plays at the Actors Theatre of Louisville in the spring of 2015, with a subsequent West Coast premiere at Berkeley Repertory Theatre in the spring of 2016• New York premiere slotted for Playwrights Horizons, Fall 2017• Ruhl's plays include two Pulitzer Prize finalists In the Next Room (or the vibrator play) and The Clean House • One of the top ten most-produced playwrights of in the country 2011-2016• Ruhl received the 2016 Steinberg Distinguished Playwright Award• Ruhl received the 2004 Susan Smith Blackburn Prize for The Clean House • Ruhl was nominated for the 2010 Tony Award for Best Play for In the Next Room (or the vibrator play) • Ruhl is the recipient of a Whiting Writers' Award, a PEN/Laura Pels Award and a MacArthur Fellowship

MOVEMENT TWO:

the Irish wake

The idea of a breakfast nook.

A small breakfast table, wooden and round with drop leaves and rolling feet, appears, and a hanging lamp appears over it.

A door leads to an unseen kitchen.

And they all sit around their old breakfast nook and tell jokes and philosophize and fight about politics and drink whiskey and eat Chex party mix out of a big red tin.

The night before the funeral.

Someone has just told a joke. They are all laughing at it.

3 is pouring whiskey.

4

Let’s have another.

3

What’s an Irish wake without Jameson’s—

3 pours whiskey into 1’s, then 2’s, then his own glass.

1

A wake should have a body shouldn’t it—so weird to leave the hospital—to leave the body—

Like we were abandoning him . . .

5

Without a ritual . . .

1

Yes—

3 pours into 4’s glass.

4

I meant let’s have another joke—but I’ll keep the whiskey, thank you very much.

2

Anyone got another joke?

4, the joke teller, is an internist. 3 is a surgeon. So 4 tells the joke pointedly to 3.

4

I do. An internist dies and goes to Heaven (as you would expect after a lifetime of selfless service to mankind) . . .

3

Yeah, yeah—

4

Anyway, St. Peter is taking him on an orientation tour, showing him the golf course, the fitness center—

2

Is there a hot tub?

4

Absolutely. Anyway, it’s time for lunch so they go to the heavenly cafeteria and stand in a long line. Soon, a man with a long flowing beard, wearing scrubs and surgical clogs, with a stethoscope around his neck, comes in and goes right to the front of the line. The internist asks St. Peter, “Who the hell is that guy?” St. Peter responds, “Oh, that’s God, he just thinks he’s a surgeon.”

Some laugh.

Some groan.

3 cheers.

3

That’s right! To God!

2

You tell one, Ann—

1

I can never remember jokes. Is that a woman thing?

3

Yes. Just kidding.

1

(With irony) Hilarious.

Maybe I never learned jokes because I didn’t go to medical school.

4

(To 3) It’s true. We did learn jokes in medical school.

1

No one really tells jokes anymore. They tell sort of—ironic stories with no punch lines. Do you think that’s less democratic—that stand-up comedians have sort of ironic personas—but no jokes you can retell—

3

I don’t think it’s about irony, it’s about political correctness, you can’t offend anyone—

1

Oh please let’s not say political correctness tonight—

5

It’s better to offend people?

3

No really, we’ve become humorless—

2

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

2, 3, 4, AND 1

That’s not funny!

1

Okay, okay, enough. Anyway—I can only remember one joke.

2

Tell it!

1

(Dramatic) So—this carrot was crossing the road. True story. And he gets run over by a truck and he’s bleeding in the road, and there’s carrot blood everywhere—

2

(Overlapping and chuckling) Carrot blood—

1

—and his friend takes him to the doctor and the doctor comes out of surgery, pulls his mask down, and says, “I have some good news and some bad news,” and the friend says, “Oh doctor, please tell me the good news first.” “All right. Your friend is going to live.” “Oh, thank God, thank God, doctor. What’s the bad news?” “Well, I’m afraid he’s going to remain a vegetable for the rest of his life.”

Some laugh, some groan.

...

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