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Nightmare on the Nose
Evelyn E. Smith
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Nightmare on the Nose
Evelyn E. Smith
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Incubus won every race but one. Yet though in this respect she matched Man o' War's record she wasn't actually a horse at all. Evelyn E. Smith is best known as the author of the Miss Melville mysteries. From 1952 to 1969 she wrote dozens of science fiction and fantasy short stories that appeared in magazines such as The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, Galaxy, Super Science Fiction, and Fantastic Universe. Her stories were witty, well written, often humorous, and always unforgettable.
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Science FictionIncubus won every race but one. Yet though in this respect she matched Man oâ Warâs record she wasnât actually a horse at all.
Every time he lost money at the track Phil Watson had a nightmare. They grew increasingly frequent as his bankroll dwindled and his hopes of getting rich dwindled accordingly.
The night after he had dropped two hundred dollars at Jamaica, the nightmare grew particularly oppressive. In the darkness he could see her red eyes glowing at him as she sat on his chest.
âWould you mind not turning over so much?â she asked, seeing that he was awake. âIt makes me uncomfortable.â
âIt makes you uncomfortable!â he moaned. âHow would you like to have a couple of tons of horse sitting on you?â
âI do not weigh a couple of tons!â she snapped. âAnd furthermore I assure you Iâm sitting on your chest out of duty, certainly not out of pleasure. If you donât think I have lots better things to do with my nights than go around sitting on people...â Her large white teeth gleamed in a significant leer.
He sighed and squirmed again. A sharp hoof kicked him in the side. âThatâll learn you not to wiggle, Watson. Since youâre not sleeping,â she added, âhow about a couple of games of Canasta?â
âIâve been losing enough on the racesâIâm not going to start gambling with a supernatural card shark.â
âListen here.â The nightmare bristled. âI can beat you at any game without the use of supernatural powers. Youâre known as the number-one sucker at all the tracks.â
âThatâs right. Thatâs right. Kick a man when heâs down.â
âIâm sorry,â she apologized. âI didnât mean to be unsporting. But you get me so mad!â
âUnsporting...â he musedâthen sat up as a terrific idea hit him.
âWatch your step, Watson,â the nightmare warned when the sudden movement nearly threw her off the bed. âIâve been standing for a lot from you butââ
âListen, can you run?â
âRun? Whaddya mean run?â
âHow fast can you go?â
âWell, Iâll be honest with you. Downâwhere I come from Iâm known as âOld Slow Poke.â I canât move much faster than speed of sound while all the other girls have the velocity of light. But thatâs the way it isâsome are born with brains and some with speed.â
âThe velocity of sound is good enough,â Watson decided. âLook here, Nightmare, howâd you like to run in a race?â
âA race?â Then the nightmare chuckled evilly to her...