Monday Morning Mentoring

David Cottrell

• Verlag: HarperCollins e-books
• Jahr: 2009
• ISBN:
  9780061866579
• Thema: Business
• Thema: Management

Everyone who wants a fulfilling career needs a mentor -- someone who has seen it all before, someone who can share hard-won experiences and teach valuable lessons.

In this expanded and enhanced version of his best-selling book, Monday Morning Leadership, David Cottrell packs all of the wisdom of his wide-ranging business experience into this inspirational story. Cottrell introduces us to Jeff, a successful corporate manager who has hit a major wall. Jeff has been leading his team, quarter after quarter, to great sales and better profits for several years -- until now. The tricks that used to work wonders have lost their magic; Jeff is in a slump and is at a loss to find his way out of it.

Overworked, stressed, and feeling that his personal and professional lives are at risk, Jeff reaches out to the father of a college buddy, a retired and tremendously accomplished former executive named Tony. Tony and Jeff agree to meet every Monday for ten weeks to work through Jeff's problems and get his career back on track.

In the course of these intimate sessions, Jeff discovers the secrets of real leadership: "Until I accept total responsibility -- no matter what -- I will not be able to put plans in place to accomplish my goals." And, "My success is the result of making better choices and recovering quickly from poor choices."

Tony leads Jeff through tough lessons in how to manage his people, how to manage his own time, how to manage his superiors, and how to escape from "management land." Most of all, Jeff learns that his success is intimately bound with the success of his people and that tolerating lackluster performance in himself and others on the team only leads to discontent from his most prized and productive employees.

Through Jeff's mentoring sessions, the reader meets a character of integrity who dispenses homespun but effective wisdom. Spend time with Tony and Jeff at their Monday morning meetings, and you will find yourself on the road to becoming a better leader and being more successful at work.

The First Monday

Getting Past Splat

It was a rainy, gloomy day when I left home for my first meeting with Tony.

Frankly, I was somewhat cynical about whether meeting with Tony would change anything at work. At best, time with Tony would probably make me feel better about how things were going. I guess I really doubted he could do much to change how I managed. After all, I had worked for years for one of the best companies in the world and had been to numerous management-development sessions. To no one’s surprise, however, the impact of these highly touted training sessions rarely lasted more than a short time.

I had to keep reminding myself that if things were great, I never would have called Tony in the first place. The truth was this: I was at a crossroads in my career. Deep down I knew something was going to have to change, one way or another. “Get with it,” I chided myself. “Executives all over the country ask for Tony’s counsel. You should consider yourself fortunate he has time for you.”

We had agreed to meet at eight-thirty. Because of the rain, I drove into Tony’s driveway at eight-forty. Tony was waiting for me at the door, looking as if he had just stepped out of Gentlemen’s Quarterly.

“Hello, Jeff, and welcome!” he said, extending his hand and pulling me toward him for a fatherly hug. “I am honored that you would take your time to come and see me.”

Tony asked me to come in and gave me a quick tour. His home was incredible. It was large, with a warm ambiance. His wife had passed away a little over a year earlier, and he was proud to show me several pictures of them taken at locations all over the world. After the tour, he took me to his library, where he said we would be meeting each week.

There must have been more than a thousand books on his library shelves. I noticed several pictures of Tony standing with well-known business leaders whom I immediately recognized. Some of the pictures had been taken in the library where I was sitting. I must admit, I was a little intimidated.

After several minutes of catching up, he said it was time to get down to business.

“Your time is valuable, Jeff,” he began, “so I think we need to set some ground rules if we’re going to make the best use of our meetings. “With that in mind, I took the liberty of drawing these up while I was thinking about our sessions. See what you think.”

He pushed a handwritten note across the table that listed three simple rules:

Ground Rules for Monday Morning Meetings

Start and finish on time.
Tell the truth.
Try something different.

Simple enough, I thought. I can live with those rules. Then I looked at Tony. “I can handle these. Let’s get going.”

“Okay then,” Tony said. “Tell me what brings you here after all this time.”

For the next hour, I did the talking, and Tony listened without saying much.

I began with my college graduation, the last time we had spoken to each other. I had been so excited about the future. Like most grads, I felt nothing could keep me from being successful. I was educated, energetic, and full of optimism.

For the first few years of my career, success came easily and promotions were rapid. I worked in sales for one of the most respected technology-manufacturing companies in the world. Then I was promoted into management—my first big break—and I loved it. Business was good. I went on great trips. I was involved in making some big decisions, and I learned a lot, early on.

My team was not top performing, but our results were acceptable, and more than respectable.

Some of the people on my team didn’t have the drive I had, but business was so good, I didn’t worry about them. Actually, I probably ignored performance issues that contributed to the problems I had now.

Oh, and I tried really hard to be “one of the guys.” I wanted my team to like me and to want to work for me, so I frequently took them out for dinner and drinks—and even shared some of the issues I was facing. At the time, it seemed like a good strategy. About that same time, I rated the job upper management was doing as far from acceptable. In fact, I even told my team that if we did our jobs like upper management did theirs, our company would go under. We all laughed about that.

Those were the good times. But over the next several years, business got tougher. Most of my team was still intact, but some of the performance issues I had once ignored were now affecting my division’s performance in a big way—and by “big,” I mean they were becoming threats to my job.

I was working hard—long hours—but business indicators told me things were pretty bad. I wasn’t very happy, and the people on my team weren’t happy. Our results reflected our frustrations, and the unhappiness transferred over to my home life, as well.

“I looked you up, Tony, so I could learn from you,” I said dejectedly. “I’m at my wits’ end, and I just hope it’s not too late for me to turn this ship around.”

After listening for almost an hour, Tony finally started talking. “First,” he said, “I know you think these problems and the situation you described exist only on your team. You could not be more wrong. There are few—very few, if any—leaders who have not faced the same issues you’ve just shared. I know I have.

“When it comes to leading people, there is no problem that is unique to you. Ask anyone with experience, and you’ll discover they’ve faced the same issues, the same frustrations. So don’t feel sorry for yourself. That’s a waste of valuable time. Just make plans to make things better.

“Second, it’s not too late to change,” Tony continued. “You’re still young, even though you have a wealth of experience. I admire you for calling me and seeking advice. Few people have the courage to take even that first step.

“Many people facing the challenges you are facing give up too soon…just before they turn the corner to success. Successful people keep moving, even when they are discouraged and have made mistakes.

“Jeff, you are in a position almost everyone faces. Every way you turn, it seems you run into a wall.”

I nodded. “Exactly…and it seems the walls I am running into are getting closer and closer together. I can’t seem to get around them.”

Tony leaned back in his chair, clasping his hands. “Jeff, you are at a place I call ‘splat.’”

“Splat?” I asked. “I have never heard of splat. That must be a consultant acronym describing where I am.”

Tony was quick to respond. “No, it is not an acronym or consultant talk. It is a place where most of us visit sometime in our career. Let me explain.

“I once heard a fable about a man who meets a guru on the road. The man asks the guru, ‘Which way is success?’ The bearded sage doesn’t speak, but points to a place in the distance. The man, thrilled by the prospect of quick and easy success, rushes off. Suddenly, there comes a loud ‘splat.’ Eventually, the man—now tattered and stunned—limps back, assuming he must have taken a wrong turn.

“So he returns to the guru and repeats his question, ‘Which way is success?’ The guru again points silently in the same direction. The man obediently walks off, and this time the splat sound is deafening. When the man crawls back, he is bloody, broken, and irate. ‘I asked you which way to success,’ he screams at the guru. ‘I followed your direction, and all I got was splatted! No more of this pointing! Talk!’

“Only then does the guru speak, and this is what he says: ‘Success is that way. Just a little past splat.’

“Right now you are at splat—tattered, torn, and maybe even broken and irate. But if you are strong enough and dedicated enough to make the effort, we can work together to get you past splat.”

“Sounds good to me,” I said. “I have been at splat for quite some time, and I am tired of being splatted.”

“Obviously, you’re facing some real challenges. Seeking an outsider’s advice is a good move. We all need people who will help us look at situations from a different perspective,” Tony said, his tone riveting my attention. “In fact, I have several people who are my mentors—people who have helped me gain new insights—and who have remained my mentors after all these years. In a nutshell, it’s not too late to change, but you will have to work to make improvements.

“One more thing to remember: You’re not alone here. Most people have difficulty making the transition from employee to manager and from manager to leader. Your dad once told me something that I will never forget. He said if you want to be extraordinary, the first thing you have to do is stop being ordinary. Wanting to be liked and to be ‘just one of the guys’ is natural. Of course, everyone likes to be liked. But as a leader, your team should like, or respect, you for the right reasons.

“If your team likes you because you’re fair, consistent, empathetic, and a positive person—that’s great. But if they like you just because you lavish them with free dinners and drinks, what have you gained? In fact, you’re setting yourself up for failure. Why? Because if your goal is to get everyone to like you, you’ll find yourself sidestepping tough decisions because you won’t want to upset your ‘friends.’

“Transitioning from employee to manager or manager to leader requires that you make different decisions, often difficult decisions, and believe me, those transitions can sometimes create challenges in every other area of your life as well.

“I remember when you were a teenager, Jeff. You were so excited when you celebrated your sixteenth birthday and got your driver’s license. Remember? You had watched your mom and dad drive for years, and as soon as you were old enough, you went through the driver’s education course.

“Now, remember how confident you were? You knew you would be the best driver ever. You even promised your dad with those very words,” Tony said with a wink.

“Of course I do,” I replied. “I remember even more vividly the second day after getting my license…that’s when I had my first accident. Thankfully, no one was hurt.”

“I remember that, too.” Tony nodded. “Most of your soccer team was in the car with you. But, what you don’t know is a few days later, your dad and I discussed the main reason for the accident—and that was your failure to understand the difference in responsibilities between being the driver and being a passenger.

“You see, passengers are free to do a lot of things the driver can’t do. As a driver, your focus needs to be on the road and not on the distractions. As a driver, you no longer have the right to ‘mess around’—like listening to loud music—even though it seems okay to do that as a passenger.

“The same principle applies when you become a leader. You’re no longer a passenger. Now, you’re the driver. Yet even though your responsibilities increase when you become a manager, you lose some of the rights or freedoms you may have enjoyed when you were a passenger.

“For instance,” Tony continued, “if you want to be successful as a leader, you don’t have the right to join employee ‘pity parties’ and talk about upper management. When you’re a manager, you lose the right to blame others for a problem in your department. You also no longer have the right to be negative or cynical; you can no longer avoid issues or choose to not make a decision. As manager and leader, the buck stops with you. You are the person responsible for everything that happens in your department, and that’s a giant step that is often painful as you make the transition.”

But he wasn’t through. “You even lose the right to some of your time because you’re responsible for other people’s time as well as your own,” he said, stopping to check his watch. “Speaking of time, what time did you arrive today?”

“A little after eight-thirty,” I said innocently.

“And what time did we agree to begin?” Tony wondered aloud.

“Eight-thirty…but traffic was heavy and it was raining and I thought I left in plenty of time,” I stumbled.

“Yes, it was raining,” Tony easily agreed, “but the rain didn’t make you late. You see, Jeff, when you accept total responsibility, regardless of what happens or the conditions surrounding what happens, you make adjustments. When it’s raining, you leave earlier, or take a different route, or call and change the meeting time. You control if you’re on time or not. The rain just forces you to make different decisions.”

“I’ll remember that,” I promised.

“Okay, let’s move on,” Tony said. “The opposite of accepting responsibility is to find someone or something to blame when there’s an issue or a crisis. Of course, there is always someone or something to blame, but a real leader spends his time fixing the problem instead of finding the right person to blame.

“Making excuses rather than accepting responsibility for your actions will destroy your effectiveness as a leader,” Tony emphasized. “When you accepted your job, you were not chosen solely to fill a position on the organization chart, you were chosen to fill a responsibility. Nobody needs a leader to find excuses or to find others to blame for failures…everyone can do that on their own.

“When you place blame, you focus on the past. When you accept responsibility, you focus on this time forward—on the future…and Jeff, until you accept total responsibility—no matter what—you won’t be able to put plans in place to accomplish your goals.”

Tony gave me a little time to think that over. It was a big concept but definitely one I needed to wrap my arms around.

“One of the first thing...