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A Kind of People
Gurpreet Kaur Bhatti
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- English
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eBook - ePub
A Kind of People
Gurpreet Kaur Bhatti
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"In this country, you go as far as they let you." Friday night and someone's having a party. It seems like a laugh, but not everyone's having fun. Nicky and Anjum want their kids to get into the best schools, and Gary is feeling the pressure after applying for a promotion. What happens when not everyone will get what they want? Gurpreet Kaur Bhatti's new play about a group of working-class friends dreaming of a better life for their children questions the dream of class mobility, and what happens when the odds are stacked against you.
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SCENE ONE
Friday. Late September. Evening. Large kitchen diner in Gary and Nickyâs Council Flat. The place could do with a facelift but itâs clean. Chaotic but not unpleasing. NICKY is making samosas with ANJUM at an old Ikea dining table. ANJUM wears a hijab. Agitated MO hovers.
MO: (Indicates phone.) Not one of themâs replied. Not a single one!
NICKY: What?
MO: They should learn to speak English.
ANJUM: I thought you were going home.
MO: Thereâs no excuse. I mean we learned English.
ANJUM: We were born here.
MO: My mum brought up seven kids and she managed to learn.
ANJUM: Mo, your mum can barely read and write.
MO: (Affronted.) You could quote Shakespeare to my mum and she might not replyâŠ
NICKY: (Amused.) Shakespeare?
MO: âŠbut sheâd understand every syllable!
ANJUM: No she wouldnât!
MO: Weâll see. (Finds a number on phone.)
KAREN enters.
KAREN: (Shouts.) Letâs get mashed up!
NICKY: What are you doing here?
KAREN: (Hands NICKY a bottle of Prosecco.) Mark said youâre having a party. (Makes herself at home.)
NICKY: (To KAREN.) I donât think so, Garyâs taking him out.
MO: (To KAREN.) Did you know, not one of those parents replied to my doodle poll? (Dials number.)
KAREN: Really?
ANJUM: Loads of parents havenât come forward.
MO: Letâs just say if my messages were signed John Smith, we might have a few bottles of Polski vodka for the raffle.
KAREN: (To NICKY.) I told Mark we fancy cocktails.
NICKY: Iâm working the early shift tomorrow.
KAREN: Fuck the early shift. (They both laugh.)
MO: (Into phone/italics indicate broken Urdu.) Hello UmmiâŠYesâŠYesâŠ
KAREN: Make us a coffee Nic.
NICKY: (Teasing.) Make it yourself.
KAREN: Please!
NICKY: Thought we were getting mashed.
KAREN: Yeah, in a minute. MO: (Into phone/italics indicate broken Urdu.) Mum, I just want to ask you somethingâŠ) (To the others.) Give me a Shakespeare quote.
ANJUM: What?
KAREN: I wandered lonely as a cloudâŠ
NICKY: No, thatâs someone else.
MO: Got it! (Into phone/broken Urdu/accent.) UmmiâŠwhat would you say if I said âTo be or not to be, that is the questionâ⊠Yes. Do you know what Iâm saying? Yes, yesâŠThanks Mum, youâre the best. (Phone off.) Understood every single word!
ANJUM: You should have asked if Zakiâs in bed.
MO: Heâll be shattered. Squad swimming tonight.
NICKY: Impressive.
MO: Zaki usually comes last.
ANJUM: Howâs work Karen?
KAREN: Shit. Then I had to pick my car up from the mechanic. He started telling me some fuckery about my alternator. That claart is a thief. (Observes NICKY making instant coffee.) What you doing?
NICKY: Coffee.
KAREN: Not instant! I canât drink thatâŠpiss. I got you that cafetiere.
NICKY: Dunno where it is.
KAREN: You wanna buy one of them machines. Then guests can choose from espresso, cappuccino, macchiatoâŠ
MO: Ours has got a cup heater and a milk frother.
KAREN: Now, that is what Iâm talking about! Iâm coming round your house! (They share a laugh.) Fuck it, open the Prosecco.
MO: I fancy a Prosecco, Nicky.
ANJUM: Youâre supposed to be getting the fair organised.
MO: Iâm doing it.
ANJUM: You said youâd be teetotal this month.
MO: I can have one!
ANJUM: If you get drunk, Iâm not telling your mum youâve got Salmonella again.
KAREN: Let the man live Anj! Howâs Zaki?
ANJUM: Weâre waiting for his results.
MO: Itâs a killer.
NICKY: (To KAREN.) He did the exam with Ronnie.
MO: (Checking phone.) Right, we need new face paints. And brushes. Paper plates, toys for the luc...