ACT ONE
SCENE ONE: THE LOUNGE ROOM
Lights come up on WOMAN 1 and WOMAN 2 having coffee in Woman 1âs lounge room. There is a coffee table between them with coffee, cups and a cake on it. WOMAN 1 has just seen the cake.
WOMAN 1: Karen! Whatâs this? You havenât!
WOMAN 2: Oh, but I have.
WOMAN 1: You didnât have to do that!
WOMAN 2: I know I didnât.
WOMAN 1: I had a cake at the party!
WOMAN 2: Yes, you did. But this isnât technically a birthday cake.
WOMAN 1: Arenât you an angel. What is it?
WOMAN 2: I mean, it is a birthday cake.
WOMAN 1: Youâre a devil.
WOMAN 2: But itâs also a congratulations cake.
WOMAN 1: Oooh! Congratulations for what?
WOMAN 2: Well, you know, for everything. For getting through this year. It hasnât been easy.
WOMAN 1: Donât make me cry.
WOMAN 2: The chemo, the divorce, you know, all of it. Itâs been rough.
WOMAN 1: Iâm crying!
WOMAN 2: And youâve just really handled it with so much, just âŠ
WOMAN 1: Oh!
WOMAN 2: Dignity and well, itâs just a little âgo youâ cake.
WOMAN 1: A âgo youâ cake. I like that.
WOMAN 2: Me too.
WOMAN 1: And Iâm not exactly going to pass up another cheeky slice of cake!
WOMAN 2: Or two!
WOMAN 1: Or three!
They laugh. WOMAN 2 cuts two slices and they eat.
Mmm, thatâs lovely and moist.
WOMAN 2: Polenta.
WOMAN 1: So howâs work going?
WOMAN 2: Oh, look, fine. The short answer is fine.
WOMAN 1: And the long answer?
WOMAN 2: Fucking, nightmare.
WOMAN 1: Oh, youâre kidding.
WOMAN 2: Iâm just trying to get it all online, you know.
WOMAN 1: Yeah, you were saying that. I remember.
WOMAN 2: Well, you have to. Iâm mad for waiting this long.
WOMAN 1: Thatâs a big job.
WOMAN 2: It is a big job. And it turns out, bigger than I anticipated. Is it alright?
WOMAN 1: Mmm. Heaven.
WOMAN 2: So Iâve just spent the last, three weeks, or more, actually, close to a month, just cataloguing all the products individually.
WOMAN 1: And can people still buy things while youâre doing that, or do they have toâ?
KIMBERLY enters.
She takes the plate with the cake on it out of WOMAN 1âs hand and smashes it on the floor. She slaps WOMAN 2 across the face. She picks up the coffee pot and pours it over WOMAN 1âs head. She picks up the rest of the cake and slams it onto WOMAN 2âs face. She grabs one breast of each woman and squeezes them rhythmically saying âHONKâ.
KIMBERLY: Iâm going to the mall, and Iâm never coming home.
KIMBERLY exits.
WOMAN 2: Do you think she means it?
WOMAN 1: My God. I hope so.
Lights down.
Music blares in the darkness.
A pin spot slowly illuminates KIMBERLYâs blank face in the void, staring at the audience. Her face recedes into the dark.
The music stops abruptly as the lights snap up.
A FATHER, MOT...