eBook - ePub
Caroline's Kitchen
Torben Betts
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eBook - ePub
Caroline's Kitchen
Torben Betts
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Informazioni sul libro
Monogamy means sharing your life with one person, but what if you shared your kitchen with 5.6 million? Caroline Mortimer, the nation's favourite TV cook, has it all – a sparkling career, a big house in Highgate, a (golf) loving husband, smart kids and the best kitchen money can buy. But beneath the immaculate furnishings, studio lighting and away from the glare of the ever-present cameras – Caroline must face the looming collision of living a private life in the public eye. What happens when the cameras turn off and the truth comes out? Caroline's Kitchen serves up deft dialogue in absurd situations: "Betts paints a wonderfully lurid picture of the middle classes, juxtaposed with the fragility of those who serve them" ( The Stage ). First performed as Monogamy at Malvern Theatre starring Janie Dee, it then embarked on a national tour. It is a searing, sharp, state of the nation comedy from one of the UK's most exciting playwrights, Torben Betts.
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Informazioni
ACT TWO
A loud thunderclap. The storm increases in intensity throughout the remainder of the play.
CAROLINE continues laying the table.
LEO: Will you please look at me!?
CAROLINE: I am looking at you, darling!
LEO: No, you’re not!
CAROLINE: You couldn’t help me with this, could you?
LEO: I want to know why you haven’t told him yet.
CAROLINE: We’ll have the champagne before we eat of course.
LEO: This is really important…
CAROLINE: Think your father wants to give you a little speech.
She stops moving and grabs the kitchen top, breathing hard.
LEO: Mum?
CAROLINE: Oh, Leo, I have done such a terrible, terrible thing.
LEO: Falling out of a taxi is hardly a terrible thing.
CAROLINE: You don’t understand.
LEO: You gave me your word that by the time I’d graduated you’d have…
CAROLINE: Will you pass me those please?
He passes her some plates etc.
LEO: If you don’t tell him right now then I promise you I’ll…
CAROLINE: Tonight is really not the best time.
LEO: Do you understand what I’m saying to you?
CAROLNE: And please don’t mention this silly idea of going off to…
LEO: In what way is it silly?
CAROLINE: Because it’s yet another thing you’ve not thought through properly.
LEO: You need to start putting me first for once in your life!
CAROLINE: I do put you first.
LEO: You always put him first.
CAROLINE: He needs me.
LEO: I need you.
CAROLINE: Not as much as he does.
LEO: I’ve only had your voicemail for the last four months!
CAROLINE: I’ve had the show, I’ve been publicising this book up and down the country, I’ve been renovating this house for sale.
LEO: Feels like you’re cutting me out…
CAROLINE: I’ve been buying the place in Cornwall.
LEO: Like you’re cutting me right out.
CAROLINE: I’ve also got my mother down there to deal with.
LEO: Whatever.
CAROLINE: Whom I’ve recently had to put into a home, Leo.
LEO: But you could still return my calls!
CAROLINE: I’m sorry I haven’t told your father yet. Because I will. But please, please let me pick the right time.
He sits, head in hands, as she continues to set the table around him.
This is supposed to be a happy occasion, darling. You’ve worked so hard for all these years and we’re both so enormously proud.
LEO: Well, you might be but…
CAROLINE: Oh God, Leo, what have I done?
LEO: What do you mean?
CAROLINE: What the hell have I done?
With an effort she calms herself.
Please. Tell your mother. Tell your mother about this broken heart of yours. What silly idiot has let you slip through their fingers?
LEO: Who do you think it’s been broken by?
CAROLINE: I really don’t know.
LEO: Yes, you do!
CAROLINE: So it wasn’t by…Iwo-Jima?
LEO: What is the matter with you?
CAROLINE: I got her name wrong again, didn’t I?
LEO: Why are you doing this to me?
CAROLINE: I’m not intentionally doing anything to you!
LEO: It’s like you’re completely insane.
CAROLINE: I’m sort of all over the place right now…
LEO: Is it because it goes against your stupid religion?
CAROLINE: My religion is not at all stupid!
LEO: I’ve had my heart broken by Rory! You understand? By Rory! Who is male!
CAROLINE: Can you please keep your voice down?
It now starts to rain outside. The rainfall increases throughout.
Rory is the…the Scottish chap?
LEO: (Angry.) Of course he’s the Scottish chap!
A silence.
(Quieter.) Of course he’s the Scottish chap.
CAROLINE: I’m sorry if you feel I haven’t been there for you. I really am.
No response.
But you’re still so young. There are so many bright, brilliant people out there…
LEO: I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.
CAROLINE: I know it’s hard if you believe you love someone…
LEO: I don’t just believ...